My life has been a series of ups and downs, but I always try to focus on bouncing back every time I'm at my lowest. Despite all the hardships, I never felt alone because my family was always with me. They're my strength and they will always be.
When I look back and think about my greatest heartbreak, it wasn't really the time when the guy I liked left. (Though I cried a lot back then... lol) It wasn't also that time when the same guy told me he's getting married because almost ten years have passed and I've long gotten over him. And his wife is a sweetheart. :)
My greatest heartbreak happened way earlier than that. It was when my dearest paternal grandfather died when I was in University.
A painting I made of my grandpa <3
My grandpa was one of the best people I've ever met in my life. He was my inspiration... and I really looked up to him. He wasn't able to finish his studies since he had to start working at an early age to help his family. For a long time, he worked as a bus driver.
My grandpa helped me a lot. When my family decided to live in the countryside after what happened to our house, he provided for us especially with regards my needs for school. He was the one who gave me money for my uniform, school supplies and other stuff. And he's also among the people who were genuinely proud of my achievements.
When I was graduating high school, he asked me what I want to do for college. I told him I wanted to study nursing because it has always been my dream to learn something about medicine and health-related stuff. Obviously, studying medicine was impossible, so nursing was more realistic.
We didn't have money, so did my grandpa... but he told me to just believe because he's going to find ways to make it a reality. He asked my aunt abroad to sponsor me and although reluctant, she agreed because it was grandpa's request.
I got into my university of choice despite the competition. He was really happy for me. However, during my second year of university. He got sick. From my father's hometown, he came here in Cebu to be treated in a bigger hospital. After class, I'd go and visit him at the hospital. It was painful seeing him change... his smiles were slowly fading. And despite everything, we were helpless. He decided to just go back in his place and spend his remaining days there.
I really wanted to go together, because we could feel that we were just counting days. He didn't allow me, though. It was my exam week that time and he wanted me to focus on it. He told me he'd wait for me to visit him after my exams were over. My father accompanied him and grandma back to his place.
Unfortunately, we was not able to wait for me. He died a few days later. My mom had to go back to my father's hometown to help with some stuff, but I was stuck in my exams. I just strengthened my heart and continued the exam week because I promised him... and after the exams were over, I immediately took the bus and ship going to his place.
I tried not to cry while I traveled, but the moment I got to my grandpa's house, I just couldn't control it. I remember getting angry at him for breaking his promise because he didn't wait for me... and all that I saw was him lying inside the casket.
It took quite a while to move on from this loss. But I just thought of the memories we had, all the things he taught me... and I eventually accepted. Still, I must say, I owe him a lot and I'll always be grateful to him.
When my grandpa died, my sponsorship also ended. Well, I couldn't blame my aunt since she mostly paid my grandpa's hospital fee and burial. Inspired by my grandpa, I learned how to deal with certain situations. Whenever I couldn't pay my tuition, I'd plead my professors to let me take the exam. They'd scratch their head and comment that I usually just pay them with a smile, but in the end, they didn't mind. They allowed me to take the exam secretly.
My grandpa was really friendly and was respected by people around him. He's a great person. He was empathetic, kind and he knew how to treat the people around him well. Losing him was sad and heartbreaking, but somehow it made me find a goal. I aim to be a better person just like him... and be someone who would continue to look at the brighter side of things.
Until now, I'm working on that goal... :)
