“If it's your job to eat a frog, it's best to do it first thing in the morning. And If it's your job to eat two frogs, it's best to eat the biggest one first." - Mark Twain
I don’t know about eating frogs but I do know that getting my chores done on time gives me ample time to do other stuff like writing on Hive. I really wonder why men are wired differently, of course not all men will not bother about making the bed, or making sure the kitchen is clean before bed.
There’s a lot I cannot do alone in a family a family of 4, and in situations where I need things done, I have to apply special tactics. (Don’t let your mind wander to far, I’m terrible at seduction) usually, silent treatment works.
My husband doesn’t like stress, he would rather pay to get things done than for him to do those things himself. If he had the money to pay someone to bathe him, he probably would. Lol, okay that’s extreme but I’m sure you get the point.
You know courtship gives us the opportunity to know our partners before marriage and then decide if we want to spend the rest of our lives with them right? I had one of those moments of realization that hinted he was not a handy man, but guess what? I was so blinded by love that I didn’t care at all at that time. We were on a phone call and I mentioned how I’ll want my family to be when I’m married ( Me cooking, and my husband helping out close to me and stealing kisses from time to time) 😂 he responded and said he certainly won’t be helping but will be stealing those kisses!
*How did I miss that???
Well fast forward to 6 years later, he doesn’t even come close to the kitchen unless there’s an incentive for him. I don’t have the energy to nag, and after bringing it up several times, I decided to give up. When he notices that I have been silent and angry, he adjusts and helps with either holding the baby or anything. Here is where it gets really interesting; he doesn’t get much “ “ activities like in the past and my excuse is always: “ I’m tired”
No, it’s not a lie, I have a three year old and a 10 months old baby, I can’t possibly take care of the home, do the laundry and then still have the energy I’m sure he realized that he had to change or else he won’t be getting any for a long time.
So here’s what he does when he needs me: he lets me rest so I don’t have any excuse. 😂 His niece now lives with us, so I have an extra hand to help with the kids, and he also cooks on very rare occasions like on Monday when he made us noodles for dinner. I thought he was being kind by wanting us to rest, but I found out his real motive about an hour after dinner.
Honestly, my husband has not changed his perspective towards helping with house chores, I guess it has more to do with how he was trained to believe men are providers and not home makers. I see him try to help, but it doesn’t last one week after an argument and he is back to his default setting. He does his laundry himself so doing every other thing doesn’t quite bother me. I wish he could see how truly romantic it would be to do chores together, instead he wants me to see how truly romantic it would be to play his Play Station together.
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