At the time of this anecdote I had no home and I reached an agreement with a very special friend, I would live in one of her empty houses in exchange for paying the electricity, water and telephone bills and keeping her widowed grandmother company, at the beginning it was very light, although the lady had a roller coaster temperament, I knew how to maneuver the situation since I am super diplomatic, collaborative, flattering and carefree.
I hated the hours of my job, from 12:00 to 22:00 hours, it was a warehouse and I was one of the workhorses to do the inventory, every day I came home almost dead from exhaustion, opened a can of tuna, mixed it with mayonnaise and filled a piece of bread of 30 cm accompanied with coke, I went to bed and repeated the routine the next day.
The day of the disaster was Friday, I cashed my paycheck and bought some pork chops to satisfy a craving, I had planned to make some sandwiches overflowing with sauces and vegetables very American style, I got home, my grandmother went to bed early, it was the best, that meant more food for me.
I turned on the stove I started a salten with a drizzle of oil and went to my room for a moment, I sat down at the computer, on twitter a Venezuelan actress was trending because an intimate video of explicit sex was leaked and everything was a scandal, as twitter is very explicit if we set it up that way, the video was there available, and I watched it. I mean, open and close my eyes, for me everything happened in the fraction of a microsecond, smoke came into my room, I reacted and the kitchen was on fire, the fire had grabbed the grease processor hood, the drawers were made of wood, I did not scream, I ran, I filled the largest container of water and the battle to put out the flames began, I managed to do it, but the smoke was very strong, I was worried about the lady who did not come out of her room and I did not know what to do, I had a lot of conflicting ideas in my head, I thought she might drown, but if I alarmed her it was clear that she would go into crisis and I would leave that house shot like a champagne cork, dawn came, I opened the doors and windows wide, the smoke behaved like a diva and left the room at the speed of a turtle, clarified the picture, the lady at the height of the catastrophe gave no sign of life or death.
After making an exercise to keep calm, I began to remove the stain from the wall that was smoked, clean the hood, the burners, the wood of the upper drawers, dry the floor, it was hours of work and, in the morning, I was sure that they would realize what had happened because the hood was black, with details of the burns and the smell was evident. I did everything I could to clean up the scene, I even studied ways of reacting in surprise to appear convincing and deflect the accusations. The lady came out of her room and for me it was relief and anguish at the same time, I was waiting for the moment when they would knock on my door to ask for explanations, it didn't happen, I slept for an hour and the alarm went off to go to work.
At work they were dying of laughter and in a mocking tone they warned: You shouldn't watch porn while cooking, or at least make sure that the flame is at its minimum intensity!
Well, eventually I was kicked out of that house, but in other circumstances, the fire in the kitchen had nothing to do with it, although if they realized some time later, I denied it very naturally and they did not delve into the subject, and to think that I bought pork chops, so expensive they are and I did not enjoy them, they were roasted, the can of tuna was more practical.
Thank you.
This is my participation for [WE96] Weekend-Engagement blog prompts.
Translated with DeepL.com
Here you can consult the source of the images used for this publication: 1, 2, 3.
