Lol, just bursting your balls with this one man.... or woman. Of course, everything you'd be reading on here from now, would just be an entire work of fiction. Beware, I have used a lot of strong language in it.

Trust me, I'm not some secret multimillionaire or anything. On the contrary, I'm actually quite broke😄

I choose Option one:

Choose a sentence to finish from the below list and write at least 300 words to complete it:

"This weekend I decided that never again shall I..."

Holy fuck! Never again shall I ever clickbait on this fine here Blockchain!

Oh God! Oh holy shit! I really did fuck up this time!!!

So this whole shit started just a couple days ago. I was down on my luck on the Blockchain, barely had any interaction whatsoever with my posts, not a single trace of engagement to my name — not even by ACCIDENT! Good lord, I was enraged! Fed up! Etcetera! Needless to say, it was this new found rage that ironically, sparked up the hidden creativity in me.

Soon, I began pondering, began reflecting... Did it mean that my posts where just that bad?... FUCK NO! My posts are the freaking best man! It's everyone else who can't see that! Ahh... it's just that I... I needed a new way to show them that.

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CLICKBAIT CLICKBAIT CLICKBAIT CLICKBAIT!!!

Yes! I needed the right Goddamn Clickbait!

So there I was, mocking up my best post yet and whilst my fingers typed aggressively on the keyboard, my mind however, was fixed upon just what kind of clickbait I was going to use.

Ah yes... Clickbait! The internet's No.1 worst enemy. Over the years we've seen some pretty gruesome ones huh? For example, the clickbaits issued by reporters and bloggers via their headlines for articles:

15 years later, mother discovers something in son's old bedroom. What she found was shocking! = Mother finds 15 year old sock under son's old bed.

And especially, from the likes of YouTubers and other content creators:

"Doing cocaine with the pope" = going to a Catholic university's frat party.

"My boyfriend had sex right in front of me" = boyfriend looking at another girl for 0.53 seconds.

If this gets 50K views, I delete my channel.

If this gets 1M views, I die.

‎Yup, as cruel as it might seem, this was exactly the kind of shit I needed to kick up my account and soon, an idea came into mind:

I was going to write about money

...lots of it.

Why money you ask? Well because what doesn't scream click me as much as 10 Million freaking dollars!. Heck those numbers are big enough to catch the attention of even the most minimalistic of Hivers out there. And plus, with the massive amount of community members engaged in crypto and finance trends and discussions all around the chain, it was a no brainer really!

Yes.. yes.. it had all come together now: the title was in place, thumbnail was ready, I had tagged every possible whale my little mind could think of(even the ones that didn't exist) and it was finally time to get this show on the road.

The plan was simple: Step 1.) Use an extremely clickbaity title and thumbnail unrelated to the post whatsoever in order to attract an audience first. Step 2.) Understand that after clicking said post, there is a high certainty that your audience would be disappointed to find that it was just a clickbait. However, this is were the next step plays a vital role now. Step 3.) Before any of them storm out of the post in anger, quickly win them over with your charming and endearing story about the Cursed Tomato and his journey to Mount Orgasm. And finally — Step 4.) Pat yourself on the back for such a brilliant idea as you watch the comments, upvotes, and reblogs come in...

_{Ah yes... I could already smell those sweet sweet engagements now..}

Unfortunately, this was not the case AT ALL.

Now for some reason, and heaven knows why, I was welcomed with many outspoken, unpopular, and enraged comments:

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