Greetings to all the members of this community. This is my first time posting here. My name is Anthony, and I thought the community's theme was a great one—sitting around a campfire to hear other people's stories that can uplift and make us reflect—is excellent.
Now, to what I'm here for.
A little bit of my story
I've titled this post "No Hard Feelings After 18 Years" because it was only after that amount of time that I first met my biological father. I grew up with my loving mother, who endured many difficult times after my father abandoned his role as a father when I was barely 6 months old.
However, despite the difficulties, my mother did everything in her power to give me the height I have today. And when I say height, I don't mean 5'7" (1.72 meters) tall, but rather the height of values, conscience, maturity, and many other qualities my mother has taught me.
Life and its coincidences
The truth is that one day by chance I found my dad on Facebook. I was already 18 years old. I remember that I also managed to communicate through Facebook with an aunt who gave me her number. The truth is that aunt was the one I found first on Facebook. She was the coincidence through which I found my dad, because not even my mother had heard from him since he left.
On Father's Day, I called him. When he answered, I asked who it was and I said, "I'm Anthony, your son." The silence lasted about a minute and a half. Hearing the voice of your son, whom you never saw grow up after turning 18, I suppose it was a shocking shock for him.
We had a very healthy conversation. I asked for his blessing, how he was, what he was doing. Perhaps someone else would have let themselves be carried away by resentment, but in my case, my mother's upbringing taught me that simply living in resentment brings no benefits.
The strong time was short but it left lessons
The truth is that after that call, he traveled to the city where I lived to meet me. Then, on another occasion, when I was sworn into the army during my military service, he traveled again. Shortly after we met, the sick man and I traveled, even to stay with him and treat him in the hospital. He was very ill. I was there for about a week, and then I had to return because I had to present my thesis at the university, since I am a computer engineer. When I had just returned from that trip, they called me to say he had died.
The truth is, I feel happy to have at least had the opportunity to meet and see my biological father face to face, and also to have not held any resentment. He took advantage of his final days to apologize for having abandoned me so young. I sincerely told him, there is nothing to forgive. I rested peacefully.
Life often throws us into difficult situations, but it is up to us whether we make it as difficult as possible or simply change its course and embark on a new journey full of good things. Today I also thank my mother for all her example and her partner, who currently lives with her and was the one who took responsibility for me since I was a child, who today is my father to me.
I hope that through my experience I can awaken the flame of forgiveness, of living with the understanding that our world isn't perfect and that letting time and destiny surprise you are part of the key to living in peace.