There’s something about will that’s so beautiful. It’s a decision. A willing, conscious, and intentional decision to do or not to do a particular thing. It’s like all those times that you say you'll stop drinking soda, and you keep to it for a while. A day, two days, a week, or even less, but then you go back to it.
And you do this repeatedly. Saying you’ll start, meaning to start, but then you don’t. Saying you’ll be consistent, believing truly that you want and will try to be consistent, but then things happen, life happens, or you mentally lose it, and so you stop.
And then suddenly, finally, when you're about to give it all up, Will steps in.
There’s something about will. It stems from something deeper than even your initial reason for wanting to do or not do that thing. It’s a connection to your core that feels like it’s a life or death decision when it may not necessarily be. It’s a feeling that transcends mere determination. It’s like “I need to do this, and if I don’t stick to this at this time, I’ll never get it right.” And so you do.
Just before this month started, will stepped in like never before. There was something I needed to start for the longest time, and there was something that I needed to stop. I’d tried in the past to make these two things work, and stick to them simultaneously but something always happened.
But then shortly before this month started. About a week or so to it, I gained insight. Insight that came so randomly it felt like a miracle. You know when something so miraculous happens, that you can clearly see that it was divinely orchestrated? Like everything that day or that week worked so that you would be in that exact moment, at that exact time? That’s what happened.
Will stepped in, and I was scared. What if I didn’t keep to it this time? What if there’s no real change, and was it one of those spontaneous moments where everything feels like it's working right, and then you blink and you’re back to square one? A plethora of thoughts ran through my mind, but something about this time felt different.
And because I knew it was different, I clung to that source, and didn’t let go. Will is beautiful, because it’s more profound and less fickle than mere drive or determination. There’s a permanence to it, that gives it the right effect. Anyway, my good friend, Will is here, and hopefully, she’s here to stay.
Jhymi🖤
Image is mine.
