I did not write a discrete accountability list yesterday because there were some other plans which didn't materialize, but fortunately I was to swerve course and keep myself on track! The change of plans was mildly disappointing, and I did not internally overreact as I tend to do. Will I call this progress? Sure, why not? May as well be positive once in a while lol.
Is Kermit having a seizure in this gif? Anyway, yesterday's accountability list:
- Spend <60 minutes on my phone ✓
- Exercise ✓
- Stretch ✓
- Meditate ✓
- Draw ✓
- Get off the internet by 9:15 p.m. ✓
- Go to sleep by 1:00 a.m. ✓
- Watch a TV show or movie with my family ✓
Yesterday's initial plans consisted of going to visit a family member, but the person with whom I was planning to go got caught up in some computer issues... they are far more versed in this topic than I am, so I couldn't even begin to offer to help. Instead, we ended up doing some grocery shopping in a location where we only occasionally go, so it was somewhat of an excursion.
Regardless, I consider yesterday a success because I actually spent zero time on my phone! That's not something that happens very often. I was also off the internet by about 3 p.m., leaving me a good portion of the day for anything else that needed (or wanted) to be done.
For the first time in a while, I actually finished my drawings and signed them. In fact, I signed two of the in one evening. For a lot of people who create visual art, there's always some doubt as to whether it is "good enough" to be considered complete. This sometimes results in an artist spending countless time on a project, occasionally never completing it.
Perfectionism is an issue with which I've dealt since childhood. A lot of it was self-imposed because I like to hold myself to high standards. I'm sure some of this was also engrained in me by my family and environmental factors. However, at this point, I'm a mid-30s adult with at least some degree of self-realization, hence I can make the conscious choice of how "perfect" I want my work to be.
The perfectionism also bleeds into my daily life to a large degree. I often want the "perfect" conditions in order to be able to let myself enjoy myself. Was this the reason that I had trouble going outside a couple of weeks ago? Possibly.
Letting go of the need for perfection, without letting myself falter into mediocrity, is essential for me to make actual progress. Life is never perfect, but we can still take every step to make it better. Let perfection be a long-term goal, not a short-term goal. Hitting a short-term goal of simply "doing better" is exactly how to make the most effective progress.
So am I perfect? No, I'm a galaxy away from that. But... am I doing better? I certainly think so.