Through the years, life always has its ways of presenting us with different experiences, those we cherished and ones we wished never happened at all. I've come to realize that it's actually easy to hold on to the joyful ones, while the painful ones have their ways of lingering, to the point where they affect us and our minds and could even weigh us down. And in the past I often carried the weight and burden of friendships or relationships that ended in a bad way, finding myself replaying how previous encounters happened, wondering what I did wrong and could have done differently. The result of that is that I'm left in a position of blame and constant disappointment.
Seeing how holding onto the past hurt, betrayal, and misunderstanding keeps me in a spot, hindering me from proceeding and making the most of life, I knew I had to do something about it. I mean, there was a time I was in a relationship with someone, and that relationship lasted for about five years or so. By the time the relationship ended, I couldn't help but keep wondering where I went wrong. I mean, I used to think nothing could possibly come between us, but I was wrong, and when we broke up, I found it difficult to comprehend how it happened, and so I spent the next few years wondering what I did wrong or what caused the issue.
Unfortunately for me, while I was still holding on to these and wondering what went wrong or how I could resolve it, the person I was trying to fix things up with had already moved on, and by the time I grasped that time had run out. Because first I was busy wondering what went wrong, working on how to fix it, and then feeling resentment after I realized she had moved on, I came to realize that holding on had made me stagnate for far too long, and these taught me a very important lesson, and it's the fact that letting go doesn't mean you forget or that you're pretending the pain doesn't exist anymore; it simply means you choose to not let it define you anymore.
I come to learn that holding on to grudges, pains, and past disappointments can be really dangerous, especially given the fact that it literally puts such an individual in a negativity trap, and that usually prevents them from moving forward. And that's not even forgetting the fact that it usually heavily weighs one's emotions, which leads to bitterness, stress, and the like. In my case, holding on to past disappointment led to me unknowingly giving the past control over my present, and that, in the long run, hinders progress, the possibility of embracing new opportunities, and building a new healthy relationship. Thankfully I realized, and that's what matters. Like it's commonly said, it's better late than never, and I'm glad in recent years I've not only let go but also been taking steps towards the right direction.
Now I'm enjoying life to the fullest because letting go has freed me from the grip of those hurtful memories and given me room to not only heal but also grow. So my advice to anyone going through one disappointment or another is to not be afraid to let go; in fact, letting go could be a dodge to signify self-love that'll allow you to focus on where you are and also embrace what's ahead in order to pave the way for new opportunities and growth.
All photos are taken and edited on canva application photo library.