Words can be likened to a flame—it can illuminate a dark place, but it can also burn down vulnerable things.
Working on the frontlines of healthcare puts you in positions where you see strangers at their most vulnerable moments. Some people don’t even have family members to keep them company, and so they rely on you for the most basic activities of daily living.
In these moments where people are literally fighting every second for their life, it’s only natural to have their spirits and hope down. Some people stop fighting and resign themselves to their fate, often too soon.
In my few years of practicing, I have come across situations where the job calls you to become a voice of life to your patients. You are spiritually called to minister to your patients, to encourage them to hold on and keep fighting even in seemingly impossible situations.
I remember this one patient I cared for; she had gotten into an accident that affected her spine, and it made her partially paralyzed on the left side. She lost her ability to talk and had to learn how to talk again.
One day after a physiotherapy session, I noticed she was sad, probably frustrated at the whole situation of not being able to talk properly. I mean weeks ago, she was normal and had no problem talking or walking.
Now she needed a physiotherapist to help guide her on mouth exercises, just so she could form words with her tongue again.
When the physiotherapist and the care assistant left, I stayed back just to make sure she was okay. When I asked how she was, a tear escaped from her eye. She couldn’t speak, so I wasn’t expecting a verbal response. I laid my hand on her shoulder and did my best to reassure her that one day, in the near future, this would all be a mere story to tell.
She wept a bit, and when she was good, I cleaned her eyes and told her I was there for her.
This scenario doesn’t necessarily only play out in the hospital; it happens everywhere and often. In moments where our spouses, friends or strangers come to us with personal dilemmas, feeling hopeless and down, we have the power to either speak life into them or crush their spirits.
And some of us do the latter unknowingly. Sometimes, people come to us, not wanting to spark an argument, but just wanting to feel heard and validated. Something I realized helps is, before reacting to what someone tells you, wait for five seconds. It gives you space to think beyond your reflexive response and personal bias.
It doesn’t help to think that people are out to get you (this advice is for me actually).
So remember to listen to understand as opposed to listening to respond. Be intentional about the words you say and the manner in which you say them. Offer words of encouragement, or keep quiet altogether and just be a calming, warm presence.
Choose empathy over judgment.
Thanks for reading💖
The image used was generated with AI.