I wanna be the best. No, I wanna be the only one. I am gonna leave this current place of mine. And I'll be the only one.
But I never worked. I just stay in my bed, not even wanting to go out.
I wanted to give myself time for going to a good restaurant and try out some new food. I wanted to do that from a long time. I wanted to feel the sense of freedom and being in solitude, and just being present in the moment. But, at the same time, my mind was so occupied. It was not actually occupied. My mind dogded me that it is. I felt tired to an extent that my physical body started hurting and I actually felt sick. And I had to say: "No" to myself.
And you guessed it right, I didn't go.
My mind felt relieved.
But then I started feeling guilty. Questions started popping in my head.
Why didn't I go?
It is the mind. It plays games. It wants to be in the comfort. It rejects any hardwork when you are being in this position of yours. And at that moment, I realized that there is a war within me, between me and my brain.
After knowing the cause, I got up from my "safe place" and made a healthy drink for me to feel productive. Bevause we can still make things better.
I leave my work on tomorrow or on the next hour. It never gets done. I know I have the potential. But sometimes, it feels like nothing will be okay.
Everything feels delirious.
Everything feels irrational.
Everything feels diaoriented.
And to overcome all this, I am going to share things that helped me.
It is just an occasion that I shared here. But one knows that life is messed up when this kind of things occur. One knows that other things also happen on daily basis.
So, in order to feel self-collected, composed and recollected from this agitated and distraught state of mind, I practice shutting my mind off qnd actually start doing things. That way I don't feel any mental and physical pain of doing anything.
I know, i know, that shutting one's mind off is not a good thing to do. But I'm specifically talking about people who really feel this kind of delirium.
Self-healing and regulation of emotions comes hand in hand.
Now, I will tell from my experience the do's and **don'ts **:
Do's:
- Get up from that place and move.
- Practice breathing and focus on inhaling amd exhaling.
- Hug yourself.
- Start doing. (It will be painful. And you'll start frying while doing so. Let yourself cry. And do it anyway).
- Believe in yourself.
- Trust the process.
- Love yourself.
- Spend time with yourself and nature.
I was observing each and every detail around ky surroundings and I took this picture.
Dont's:
- Don't overthink.
- Don't rush.
- Don't rush back to your bed immediately after completing the task. (Here, you'll be craving comfort and you have to be present in the moment and hug yourself).
- Don't stop yourself from crying or any feeling.
**You need warmth while you are growing. Don't criticize yourself and accept yourself. Remember, authencity is the key. **
Loving yourself means being open to yourself and doing things that you really like. You don't have to do anything for others or what others feel towards you. Just do. And be yourself.
Love,
Arshia Naseem.