They lit, they light, they will light candles to blow.
T’was yesterday, today then one for tomorrow,
But my eyes were heavy,
Though my heart was heady.
Birthdays are the gaiety of life, but why did I groan?
Perhaps, my shoulders shrugged out of guilt.
Never we have spoken, nor had I the courage to greet
Even my eyes were heavy,
Still, heart was heady,
For He has given each of my mothers a year–it is a gift of blithe.
It was possibly because of that raging night.
The day before yesterday, we had one calm fight,
“I am a child no more,
But you still care too much,” I sighed.
Thereafter, I stayed in the darkness, narrow-mindedly cried.
The day has come and everyone gathered.
They brought cakes, foods and balloons were scattered.
My heart was heady,
Yet eyes were heavy.
I never dared to step outside, my pride was shattered.
Ironic it is when ocassions should be like festivals.
But why was I behind this closed door, on the verge of grievance?
My heart was heady,
Yet eyes were heavy.
As I desired independence for myself, I ruined the moods’ quintessence.
Weeks later and their birthdays have passed.
With the slightest bravery within, I stepped out of my glass.
My eyes are now deep,
But my heart bittersweetly leaped–
Realized that I must adore its essence before it would become last.
**Saudade is a deep emotional state of nostalgic or profound melancholic longing for an absent something or someone that one cares for and/or loves. Moreover, it often carries a repressed knowledge that the object of longing might never be had again. It is the recollection of feelings, experiences, places, or events that once brought excitement, pleasure, and well-being, which now trigger the senses and make one experience the pain of separation from those joyous sensations. However it acknowledges that to long for the past would detract from the excitement you feel towards the future. Saudade describes both happy and sad at the same time, which is most closely translated to the English saying ‘bitter sweet’. (Wikipedia)