"I can't do it." Stephanie said, staring at her mom.
"You can't, or you won't?" Her mother asked with her hands akimbo.
"I don't think I can do it, ma." Stephanie rephrased.
"You never know until you try, honey. What if it works out?"Her mom uttered, disapproving of her statement.
"And what if it doesn't, ma? I don't think I can handle the result." Stephanie countered.
"Well, I am sure there's a way to find out. How about you stop thinking and just try something out, okay?" Her mother suggested.
"But..."
"Don't but me young lady and work on with your project." Her mother said, cutting off her statement.
Letting out a huge sigh, Stephanie watched her Mom walk away, leaving her alone to face the mystery of a project from school that was given three weeks ago and now needs to be in school the next day. Stephanie has the idea of what to build, but for some reason, her imagery of it in her mind makes it look silly, and she wishes her Dad was here with her. He was the only one who truly helped her in the school projects she has done so far, and with him, her love for science was electrifying, but now, her spark seems to be gone.
Looking at the things needed for the project scattered around her room's floor, Stephanie didn't even know where to start. She had asked her mom for funds to get her science equipment the next day after the project was announced. She had thought she'd be able to work on it with her father's guidance. However, whatever zeal she had in her was gone, and her mind was higgledy-piggledy.
"If only..." she muttered quietly before wiping off the tears that stung her left eyes like she was cutting an onion.
Standing up from her bed, she started picking up the necessary equipment on the floor and putting them all together in one place where she could see them.
"I guess I have to do this anyway." Stephanie said before picking up the first equipment that touched her hands.
"Yeah! Let's do this!" She self-motivated herself.
Getting herself seated in one of the chairs she and her dad use for her assignments, Stephanie held the screwdriver in her hands tightly as memories flooded like waves of the sea.
A silent whimper left her lips, followed by a soft cry as she held her chest.
"Why did you have to leave, Pa? You promised... you... you promised me!" Stephanie half yelled, banging her left hand on the table where some science projects they did together laid.
A soft hand on her shoulder stopped her cries midway. "Don't stop, honey, let it all out." she heard her mothers voice say.
Biting gently on her lower lips, Stephanie sucked on the air around before letting it out with a whoosh sound.
"I am sorry, ma." Stephanie said quietly.
Sitting in the other chair close to Stephanie, her mother held her hands tightly before speaking. "I know it has been hard for you to do the things you love because they all remind you of him, and that's the same with me. He is always there for us despite fighting miles away from home to protect his country. Your dad is a hero, Steph and... I want you to cry baby, you didn't cry when we were told he died in battle or even when we buried him. You were just... shocked. Everything you loved doing became, "I don't think I can do it". You've lost your confidence in the beautiful things your mind can do, so... please, I am here for you." Her mother said, raining kisses on her hands.
Letting out a cave cry, Stephanie flings her hands on her mother's shoulder, holding her tightly as more memories of her dad fill her mind.
Patting her back gently, her mother whispered sweet words to her... consoling her and making her aware of her presence.
After a few minutes of her cry, Stephanie calmed down before removing her hands from her mother's shoulder. However, Stephanie's elbow almost crashed towards her mother's belly, but her hands were held midway.
Giggling to herself, Stephanie's mom spoke, "Be careful baby, you have a baby brother in there."
Opening her eyes widely, Stephanie gasped, "What? For real?" Stephanie asked with a smile on her lips.
"Yeah. I found out a month and a few weeks after your dad left for war, and I planned on letting him know when he gets back. It was supposed to be a surprise but, he ... he surprised us last two weeks with his death instead." Her mother replied with a half smile.
"I am sorry, ma. And here I was adding more to your burdened mind. Your mind must have been higgledy-piggledy." Stephanie said, touching her mother's belly.
"Higgledy-pringle what?" Her mother asked.
"Higgledy-piggledy, ma not pringles."Stephanie replied with a short laugh.
"Is that a word or just some of your code words with your dad."
"Hehe. Yeah, Dad taught me, but it does have a meaning. He said he heard it from an Italian friend who works as a chef in a big restaurant, and it means "chaos or disorderliness"."Stephanie replied with a proud look on her face.
"You guys were weird." Her mother replied, kissing her forehead. "How about I help with your project." checking the clock, she nodded. ”We have a few hours to go. Just tell me what you have in mind, and let's work it out before you higgledy-priggley it on your own." Her mother added.
"Ma... it is pronounced higgledy-piggledy, and you've got to use it right in a sentence." Stephanie corrected her with a smile.
"How about I just add pringles to it?" Her mother jested.
"No, ma." Stephanie replied.
"What if I add..."
"Ma!" Stephanie half screamed with a laugh. "We've got a few minutes to go." she added.
Laughing out loud, her mum palmed her hair before they both got to work.