They tell us to dream, to aspire, to work hard, work smart, and everything will fall in place. They never tell you how difficult the road will be. Nothing prepares you for the sleepless nights, all the anxiety and fear of both known and unknown.
Keep going they tell me, just keep going, son. So am I on the right path? I wonder. No answer to the questions, just crickets. Crickets I tell you, and I can't eat them in this hunger-induced awkward silence.
I'm trying, I really am. I'm doing my best with the hand I was dealt. I can't complain, I can't sleep, I can't think straight, I can't pray. I try to, but the words never come out coherently. I'm glad God hears my thoughts.
I'm drowning, drowning in tears, drowning in blood mixed with sweat. so disgusting. Is it mine? What a stench, so disgusting, like broken dreams, shattered hopes and dark days. How do I make it stop because I can't take it anymore?
Look outside the window, you see people. people and trees. trees are standing in one spot, not doing anything, yet they last longer than these vile creatures that look like my reflection. I'm one of them, cursed to roam this place, so big, yet so small.
So it's morning again, another day in this place. Time to go out, to fake my smile, to pretend like all is well, to breathe and just ignore. That's all I have to do, well, that and hope, yeah, hope. Hoping for the best, but expecting the worst.
