Hello everyone you're welcome to my blood today
The first time I had the experience of Valentine was while I was in secondary school I was just 13 and my best friend Sarah got a Valentine package it consisted of a box of chocolate, a card ,framed picture of her she was so happy unboxing this items I could see different emotions flash across her face that I lost count I felt bad because I was left in the background nobody felt like surprising me with anything and I wished I was her. Going back home that day felt strange because I felt unhappy and disappointed that everybody was experiencing this love in the air and here I am feeling lost in the crowd.
To me it wasn't just a box of chocolate, a card and a framed photo, the joy and happiness in her eyes it was the fact that she felt loved and appreciated and whoever left the box of chocolate in her locker. Going to sleep that night I dreamed of a box of chocolate appearing in my locker the next day and how I would feel about it, my mom was in the kitchen making me delicious pot of rice and chicken which is my favorite but the food looked strange and unappealing to me because all I could think about at that point was how happy Sarah was and I wanted to feel that way I wanted to feel one thing I wanted to feel like I'm mattered to somebody.
My expectations and high hopes expanded with time and I always looked forward to elaborate gifts like a big flower, teddy bear, long love letters so many things that i wanted and unfortunately it never came. I felt like I wasn't doing enough or I wasn't beautiful enough to be loved and appreciated I would always see my friends sit around and talk about their gifts each person would show us what their loved ones got for them and I'm just there lost in the conversation with nothing to say or nothing to show it made me feel bad and I was dealing with low self-esteem.
By the time my university day is rolled in I had already told myself that there will be nothing like Valentine for me because each time I have high hopes and expectations it's all came with a bucket load of disappointment and so many words that I wasn't just good enough. It was during one of those days that I met Ugo it was a cold morning as usual and I had early morning lectures I happened to meet ugo while I was rushing into the lecture Hall and he reached out to me just a simple hello hi how are you doing? I replied he said you look like you have too many thoughts in your head more like you he read my mind after a moment and that was how the conversation kicked off, He didn't need to wait for Valentine's Day to show me that he cared every day ,every time, every week he showed me that he cared and he really wanted me to be happy.
He made me realize that love wasn't just about gifts love wasn't supposed to be very loud like I wanted it to be ,the box of chocolate and bouquet of flowers because my expectations went wild as I advanced in age and I began to notice that love was in all the little things that we didn't really pay attention to things like a shared umbrella on a rainy days, text messages from the morning good night messages and little messages here and there checking up on each other it's made up for all the loud love that I wanted .
On the next valentine day I did not expect much I had dinner with Ugo we enjoyed each other's company we watched a movie and it was just another date to share love the best we we know among ourselves and I love this nothing more nothing flashy just genuine intentions.
The Valentine's that have always expected never came but it came in a way I least expected in small gestures that show we really care and we love each other I guess I was just blinded by what I saw happening around me that I couldn't see the real deal and finally I am ready to see it and it brought me so much happiness.
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