Barbara took in the last of her clothes from the line where she spread them earlier. They were dry and she got started on folding and putting them away.
She took her time folding them neatly and arranging them inside her wardrobe. She lived by herself, isolated from the rest of the world, so she had little else to do with all her time.
It wasn't always like that, she used to be the most outgoing and sociable personality you could ever meet. It was a sad story really, one that happened three years ago.
"I'm so sorry, Ann. I would never hurt your child, I loved her like my own." Barbara apologized to her sister, Ann crying profusely.
"I always knew you were evil, Barbara, but this is a new low. How could you? I trusted you with my child, and you left her unsupervised."
Ann's words cut through her like a knife. "I didn't, she was asleep I swear to God. Todd and I were just in the living room. I checked on her many times, and she was fine."
"You need to admit it, admit that you left my baby to die while you were making out with Todd. You killed my baby. I will never forgive you for this." Ann declared and walked out of the hospital, accompanied by her husband and a few well-wishers.
Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS) is most common in the United States and New Zealand according to google statistics. Healthy babies have been known to die for no apparent reason.
It was unfortunate, but Ann's very healthy baby, Jane was a victim.
"Why won't Ann believe me? I loved Jane." Barbara asked Todd, her boyfriend who was trying to console her.
"It's grief, I think she does, deep down but she's hurting, and can't admit it. It's okay babe, we'll get through this together." Todd pulled her closer and embraced her.
Only Todd was wrong, they never did get through it together. Ann rained down hell even after an autopsy was conducted on the dead Jane and it was confirmed that nothing was wrong with her before her death. She badly wanted Barbara to be the scapegoat.
Barbara wanted to fight back, and hate Ann, but she couldn't. She knew how long Ann and her husband waited for a child, 7 years and it was hard to see her sister cry every day, questioning her womanhood before she finally had Jane.
In a way, Barbara understood her sister's anger, but it didn't make her feel less guilty, so she took everything, the insults, the trolling, and all the insensitive comments by people.
It didn't help that Barbara was a party girl, it was no secret that she even did drugs. Her own family didn't believe her that she didn't get high on drugs and abandon her sister's baby to her death.
If only God himself could descend and testify on her behalf that that wasn't the case on that day because Todd's testimony held no weight. She was sober because she was excited about helping her sister babysit her baby while she went on a date with her husband.
"I feel like the only thing we have in common now is Jane, we haven't had time for each other since we had the baby. Josh is so distant, he only has eyes for Jane. Not that I'm complaining, but I would love to have my husband to myself for a little time." Ann complained to Barbara during one of their phone conversations.
"Why not just go on a date? That way, you can spend quality time with each other." Barbara suggested helpfully, chewing her nails.
If only she had had the premonition that something would go wrong, she never would have suggested it.
She had been planning an evening with Todd and it coincided with the day of Ann's date with her husband.
Determined to pull the babysitting role off without a glitch, she stayed sober that day. She fed and played with Jane before putting her to sleep later that night.
She and Todd took turns checking in on Jane, and she could have sworn the baby was fine. She was sure.
She went to check on Jane at midnight, and the baby was just still.
Baby Jane was pronounced dead on arrival at the hospital and that was it.
Her relationship with her sister got damaged beyond repair and her sister stopped talking to her.
Her relationship ended with Todd because frankly,none of them could stand the heat. They got dragged everywhere and it was an onslaught of attacks from family and total strangers even on social media. Barbara was trolled mercilessly as soon as the news got out. She would have told her side of the story, but who would believe her? Plus, she was suffering from guilt itself so, she just rolled over and took it.
Unable to take it anymore, the guilt finally drove Barbara to resign from her job, she cashed out all her savings, withdrew the inheritance left to her by her grandfather, and moved out of town.
She condemned herself to the furthest, uninhabited location she could find and rented a cabin. She escaped to the back of beyond to maintain her sanity. The only upside from that incident was that she got sober without rehab. She had no access to drugs of any kind, and in no time, she was sober and could think straight. She was cut off from the outside world, and it's been three years already.
Done with arranging the clothes, she closes her wardrobe and makes her way into the kitchen to continue another household chore, alone and isolated from the rest of the world. Her only neighbors were birds, squirrels, and a few other harmless animals. She had a gun though, in case she had to deal with other violent animals that might come strolling by. So far, it had never happened in the three years she had been there.
She enjoyed the solitude, she welcomed the torture of loneliness. Maybe one day, she would summon the courage to face the outside world again, but for now, she was still enjoying living at the back of beyond.