Tonye imagined herself standing on the red carpet with the interviewer asking, “What does freedom look like to you?” Her straight-out-of-the-box answer would be: “Full control of the TV remote and sleeping till noon without anyone yelling my name like a town crier.”
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And so when her parents announced that there was a trip to the village for the long holiday, Tonye never batted an eyelid when she vehemently refused to join the party with the words: “Nah, I’ll pass. I really need rest please and only the City can give me that.” But her siblings squealed in excitement.
Her parents didn’t even push it. They figured that she was old enough to stay home alone. The night they left, Tonye danced around the living room like she had won a jackpot. She prepared noodles just the way she liked, queued up her favorite shows and fell asleep with her phone on her chest, feeling so at peace and fulfilled.
It indeed felt like a proper holiday.
The next morning, she woke up at 7:14 a.m. to a loud knock at the door. “Who even knocks this early?” Tonye whimpered. While still half-asleep and in her pink bonnet, she dragged herself to the door. She thought it was her friend Vanessa, who had come early to chill.
But nothing in her wildest dreams prepared her for what she saw.
“SURPRISE!!” screamed three tiny voices.
Her Aunt Stella stood at the door with her three kids, who were all under the age of ten with each one clutching a bag and a sugary drink.
“Wait, what?” Tonye blinked.
“We came to surprise your parents! I didn’t tell them sha. We thought it would be fun,” Aunt Stella said happily.
Tonye just kept staring. “They’re in the village ma.”
“Oh.” Aunt Stella looked mildly shocked. Then she brightened up again. “Well, there is still no issue! We’ll just stay with you for the break.”
And just like that, Tonye’s peaceful holiday turned into a babysitting boot camp.
By the second day, her palace-looking house now looked as if some hurricane wind had passed through. Eliezer, the youngest had poured cornflakes on the floor to actually feed the ants while Eliora just couldn't stop asking to play with Tonye’s iPad. Let's not forget Rebecca who accidentally spilled orange juice on her laptop. Oh, you're wondering where was Aunt Stella in all these happenings? Well, she was always on her phone, forwarding devotionals and laughing loudly at Facebook reels.
Tonye tried to hide the snacks in her room. But they still found them.
She even resorted to bribery by telling them that she would give anyone who behaved well, a slice of pizza. That also backfired when Eliezer cried because the pizza didn’t have enough cheese like the ones he saw in his cartoons.”
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“Tonye, where’s my charger?” “Tonye, he’s touching me!” “Tonye, the toilet is making weird noises!”
She was slowly and eventually losing it. That's if she had not completely lost it but was using every ounce of patience in her to carry on till the last day of 14 days.
The final straw that broke the camel’s back was when Eliezer flushed her AirPods down the toilet because he thought they were baby boats.
That night, Tonye sat on the staircase, staring at nothing. Was this actually karma or adulting or maybe a prank her parents pulled on her?
When her family finally returned two weeks later, Tonye looked like she had gone through hell and had victoriously emerged as a survivor. She looked so scattered and tired.
“Tonye” her siblings ran in with so much excitement to give her the full gist of how they spent their holiday. “The village was so enjoyable. We chased after goats, ate roasted corn and…”
Her mum paused, scanning the living room. “What actually happened here?”
Tonye just pointed at the packs of juice boxes, crayons, and stuffed toys. “Aunt Stella happened.”
“You’re joking right?” her sister said with shocked wide eyes.
“I wish I was. She showed up with the kids. Thought you were home. I even told her that you all travelled. So I got... all of it.”
Her brother whistled. “Omo, you pulled the short straw, my dear.”
Tonye nodded calmly. “The shortest straw of my life.”
Her dad burst out laughing. “Are you still sure the village was a bad idea?”
“Nope,” Tonye said, stretching like someone who just returned from a deadly war. “Next holiday, I’ll definitely be the first in the car. I’ll even sit in the boot if I have to.”
Her mum smiled. “Well, at least you now know what it’s like to be the adult in charge.”
Tonye groaned. “Being the adult sucks please.”
As the house returned to its usual chaotic nature with her siblings unpacking and her parents chatting about the village; Tonye moved to her room, pulled the covers over her head, and whispered to herself: “Next time, always choose the goats please.”