"Today's the day," I said to myself as I stared at the sleek metal case sitting on my dresser. I had waited months for the latest model Emotion Regulators to arrive after preordering them the day they were announced. The ability to finely tune your emotional state seemed like a dream come true. No more bad days or negative feelings - just dial up the perfect balance of happiness, contentment and focus.
I opened the case with trembling hands and gently lifted out the two thin bands dotted with electrodes. Slipping them on, I felt a slight tingle against my temples as the Regulators interfaced with the emotional center of my brain. I tapped the control pad on my wrist, and a holographic display popped up showing a spectrum of emotional states. I slid the slider up towards "Euphoric Bliss".
Warm contentment washed over me like sinking into a hot bath. My anxiety and worries melted away. This was incredible! Over the next few days, I kept the Regulators tuned to "Happy Optimism" as I went about my life. Colors seemed brighter, food tasted better. Interactions with people went smoothly as I emanated a friendly, positive vibe. I got a raise at work and made plans to go out more often with friends.
But over time, little things started to bother me in my heightened happy state - sounds were too loud, irritations too grating. I found myself nudging the Regulators higher and higher just to maintain my preferred state. Other people's negative emotions stood out in stark contrast now that I was immune to sadness, anger, fear. Didn't they realize they could fix this? Why dwell in the pits of despair when you could climb the sunny peaks of joy?
I avoided my few friends who couldn't or wouldn't use Emotion Regulators. I even broke up with my girlfriend after a tearful, confusing fight. She was mad I was never present in the moment with her anymore now that I avoided any difficult emotions. My boss threatened to fire me if I didn't start meeting deadlines again instead of blissfully daydreaming away the hours. But none of the negatives touched me in my cocoon of synthetic happiness.
Soon I learned I wasn't alone. Support groups popped up for Regulator addicts who never took their units off. There was even black market software to jailbreak the Regulators for more extreme emotional manipulation. Anything for that next hit of happiness or euphoria, while the rest of the world grayed-out around us.
Yet I noticed over time that even maxing out my Regulators couldn't seem to fully break through the flatness that had started seeping into my days. Food lost its flavor again. Fun felt boring. The world seemed colorless and dull once more no matter how much I twisted that emotional dial. I started having paranoid thoughts about the Regulators malfunctioning. But tech support said all readings were normal. The units were functioning perfectly. Perhaps too perfectly.
I finally hit bottom one day when I heard that my ex-girlfriend had died in a hovercar accident. The news washed over me like a trivial headline about a stranger rather than someone I had once planned to marry. I felt...nothing. Just a vague sense that I probably should be sad? That's when I realized the Regulators hadn't been failing. They had done their job all too well, permanently blunting my innate human capacity for all emotion. What I had perceived as a gentle boost or corrective tuning had actually ripped away my soul bit by bit.
I quickly shut off and removed those awful devices that had promised emotional perfection while delivering nothing but spiritual lack. I cried for days as my natural feelings returned in a overwhelming flood. The world was vibrant and alive again, my friendships renewed as I no longer shut people out. I relearned how to sit with discomfort, how to nurture motivation and joy from within rather than from a manipulative machine. My creativity, once so vivid in my work, began to blossom again out of the messy, confusing, wonderful and terrible mixture of being beautifully human once more. I was finally ready to heal.