I wish my fist could connect with that part of her jaw that would automatically make her pass out. Or maybe I could fit that cup on her beautiful face. God please give me a brick!
More of her self-serving honesty? What variety am I getting this time? That your “friend” kissed you? Or you had sex with him? Are there tears on that your very sad face? How I do fight my urge to care for you while I hate you so much right now?
I could always tell you'd been hurt by someone. What kind of man would treat a woman that way? Such a horrible man. But you loved him. You couldn't help but be your father's daughter. I'm sure it hurt when you and your mother would listen to the pleasure of another woman in the other room. Thanks for showing me that exact hurt and pain.
Hurt people and hurting people go hand in hand. Then there are the insecure people and those that they seek validation from. You think I love you because you are beautiful so you test it. You test my love. You want to taste it's depths so you keep digging and digging. Where has your shovel taken us now?
I wish I had a shovel. I would dig a nice spot for just the two of us but I can't bury myself. I always feel buried in shame. But I see a light of hope in that grave. One day, just one day all of a sudden you'll change your mind. You'll see me for my heart and not so similar to that man. Time had made me and him so alike. Its almost as if you seek revenge and I'm your tool.
But you smile and you laugh like an angel. You know what? You could have fooled me. I thought you were an angel. You keep showing me heavenly things. Kindness and lots of lost. Somedays I would be so thirsty for your touch and you would let me drink and drink till I got drunk. Drunk and lost over you.
Then came my dry fasting and it was hell. My eyes would be sunken and I would cry without tears. You could basically peel my skin off my body and you basically did. I wish I could peel your skin off so I could see beneath all this beauty. I mean, what was the reason and also what were you made of? Maybe pain. Maybe underneath your skin was pain.
God is great. I thank him for you. I thank him for this lesson. I thank him for this brick. Underneath your skin apparently there is no pain especially as you lay dead on the floor. I thank him for this shovel. Now if only I could find a nice spot for just the two us. Maybe at the end of that road. But how do I bury myself? Well I guess I'll just have to figure it out as I go.