I had just finished filling my drums with water and decided to rest a bit before I have my bath. As though God wanted to pass a message, a song titled, "You say" by Lauren Daigle began to play on my device. I did allow my device to play a series of music that I can draw strength from while I worked through all my chores.
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When this song started, I caught myself singing along. Something in me stirred. It was a memory of my past. I smiled. I remember the first time I heard this song on TV before I downloaded it on my device, I was going through pains, and heartbreaks and I doubted my existence.
So, the lyrics of the song felt as though it was written for me.
"How time flies", I listened to my head.
I nodded in affirmation and happiness
" you know in the past, you would always feel sad when this song plays," my mind kept the conversation going.
" A lot has changed", I responded without moving my lips.
" I can't believe it", I smiled
Sincerely, a lot did change. At this moment, I realized that we are the master of our destinies. We can choose to get stuck in the past and wallow in bitterness. Or we can shake it off, and begin again.
This is exactly what happened to me. I just had a bitter past when I first had this song. But today, I couldn't help but beam at the fact that those wounds healed and I barely remember them. They might have been scars but those scars hurt no more.
What those circumstances did was teach me to love myself and to constantly seek to improve to be able to handle certain circumstances and pains.
" I wouldn't say I can't be hurt by anything anymore", I told my head after expressing my thoughts as explained above.
" no, but you can handle pain better now, that's a big difference", my head pointed out.
And this was true. I will always experience pain because it's a part of reality and living. But how I handle pain will always be different from my past. I will no longer spend an entire year grieving, hurting, and wallowing in self-pity. That's part of living that I won't live anymore. Instead, I'll always find the courage to get up and keep going no matter what.
" You know I am proud of you, my mind said
" Yeah? Why? " I questioned
" Take a look at you and all the things you have allowed yourself to accomplish", my head whisper in admiration
" No, I did not do this; it can only be God", I corrected
Yes, it's only the Almighty who deserves to receive all the praise for how my life turned out to be. I couldn't have done it without him.
So, listening to this song again today, I realized I had subconsciously allowed myself to believe that, " I am who God says I am". And whenever I couldn't feel anything, the Almighty reminded me that I am loved. And, I believed everything he said of me.