I always say my mom is the strongest person I know, but that doesn’t even begin to describe her and everything she went through with us growing up.
Our life was a perpetual struggle but somehow we managed to get through each day with love and laughter…literally.
My Parents were both teachers, whilst my dad was a well-paid teacher in a public school, my mother worked for a new school that has just opened up and could only afford to pay her a measly sum.
She had moved to Abuja with my dad after they got married and had me, she didn’t know anyone in the city and it might be the first time she was forced to live below the standard of living her parents had been able to provide her, but she made it work.
She would get off work after school, pick up me and my baby brother from school, make food for us and my dad, do the laundry and still provide us with entertaining stories every evening until we fell asleep.
As the years went by we could no longer rely on my father to provide and care for us, this meant more hours for my mom who resorted to taking on almost every child in the neighborhood for after-school lessons, but even that could barely cater to all our needs.
Eventually, after my sister was born my mother decided it was time for a career change. She ventured into the city and applied for every job she could until she found one at a television station run by the Catholic Church.
Her new job meant the added responsibility of taking care of my younger ones and cooking as well, I was about eight or nine years old so I genuinely hated the pressure of the new experience.
Dealing with a Bipolar father didn’t help and a few weeks in I eventually became so immersed in my experience that I forgot what my mother might be going through.
After a particularly memorable beating from my dad about burning his lunch I ran away from home, I walked to the main road and just kept walking, after about two hours I stopped at a place called Nyanya to rest, I saw a big football field where players were training and I stopped to watch. After a while, hunger and the fear of being alone in the dark I decided to head back home. On my way back I noticed a person sobbing and walking slowly ahead of me in the same direction, it was almost dark out so I didn’t immediately notice her, My mom was walking home because she could only afford to pay for the bus to nyanya. After screaming at me for wandering that far away from home, we had a long heartbreaking conversation about how hard the current situation was for her, apparently, her teaching job had been owing her a few month's salaries before she decided to quit, the new job was only willing to pay her after a two-month probation since she had no experience in the field. We were surviving off her savings.
The thing I will never forget about that walk is that as sad and teary as she was, her countenance changed as soon as we walked inside the house. She was laughing and telling jokes, made dinner, and told us a good night story before going off to bed, As she kissed us goodbye the next morning I thought of her walking all the way to Nyanya just so that she could afford a bus into town.
I made an extra effort to be kind to my mother since that day, I took pride in cooking and caring for my siblings, and I remained my mother's best friend and confidant…I learned that word from watching golden girls with her over years.
She went on to have a fulfilling career in journalism and is currently one of the most respected people in media in Abuja. She obtained a second degree and a master's in journalism and broadcasting and Is currently working on her second master's degree.
She faced everything from spiteful bosses, to my father's episodes, a toxic work environment & becoming the sole provider for us and as many extended family members as she could afford to help.
Over a decade later and she has put two of her four kids through college, my baby sister just started at my Alma mater, the university of Calabar. I spend my life trying to live up to her strength, drive, positive attitude in the face of adversity, and love.
P.s I have permission to use these pictures.