Hello people, welcome to my blog.
Odafe is a colleague I once worked with in a school some time ago. She is a class teacher while I am a subject teacher. I usually sit at a corner in her class after each day's work to mark my pupils notebooks and from there we started talking and became friends after a few years of working together.
Odafe is a single mother of two handsome boys who are in secondary school and a beautiful girl who is still in primary school. We got talking about life one day and she narrated the experience that made her divorce her first and second husband. I could not help but listen to the woman, who knows, I may be able to learn one or two things from her story.
She said listen to me, my sister, I left my first marriage before I lost my life. Then I asked her what she meant by that. Then she said my first husband bullies me and I endured it for more than five years. Within the space of those five years we had these two beautiful boys together and the boys were growing well till the day my first son told me mum I am going to report you to dad for scolding me and I am sure he will deal with you for me.
**Then it occurred to me that my children were learning bad things from their dad and myself. I braced up and had a serious discussion with my husband when he arrived in the evening on that day after I had given him dinner and he promised to adjust. Indeed he adjusted his pattern. He makes sure that the children go to sleep then puts up his acts and pretends as if all was well by morning.
**
After years of endless abuse I complained to my parents that I was no longer interested in the marriage and that they should return my husband's bride prize to him and allow me to return home as that was what our costume demands but my dad said before that could be done I must have a witness. By then, my children were six and four years old respectively.
**My dad said the best people to use as witness were my children,all my efforts to shed them away from testifying proved abortive so I left them as I could not stand in the way of our costume and traditions. To my surprise, my eldest son said his father had stopped bullying a long time ago and everyone sitting at the meeting believed him because he was just a little boy and could not tell a lie. Truthfully, the boy said what he knows and not a lie.
**
One evening I ran off from the house and never returned. Two weeks later after receiving a series of phone calls from our neighbours about how my sons were left uncared for, I went one evening to take them while they were playing outside. I took them with the clothes they had on only, no extra clothes as I could not go inside the house to get some for them remember that I ran off.
By the time she stopped talking I quickly excuse myself to use the rest room and when I got back, I met her eating. She took some oat meal and her medication rested for a while before she continued the story by saying after three years , I met Lizzy's dad. Oh he treated me right then I thought maybe I made a mistake in the marriage before and I was ready to right all my wrong. Before long, we got married and I had a child. During the first trimester, I was so weak and could not do anything by myself yet he took care of me.
A few months after we had Lizzy he was transferred to another branch by the company he was working with. Initially, he comes home every weekend, before long it turns to every fortnight. After a few months he rarely comes home and later he sent his lawyer to me to discuss our divorce terms so I took that as a leap of faith to raise my children alone. Maybe marriage is not meant for all of us.
Unknown to me, Lizzy's dad told a friend during a conversation that he divorced me because he knows he may not be able to provide for my children and I since he lost his job and he could not help to watch me suffer so he decided to set me free. I might be lucky to meet another man who will take good care of me.
When this information got to me, I cried for days. I cried because I wanted it to work at all costs. I wanted my home to work so I reached out to him but he was not ready to see or listen to me. I finally got to know he was putting up with his sister and I went there to search for him twice but on my second visit, I was told he has relocated to Ghana then I left for good.
After her story, she started staring into space, one can tell she still has deep feelings for the second man. I could not help but sight. Clothes is surly covering a lot of things but our sanity most surely be protected and moreover, destinies are written in stars. Maybe she was destined to leave as an independent woman and not stay married who knows.