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Every year, during Christmas, there is a reminder call that my dad exchange with other relatives in my family and it spreads across my paternal extended family, both far and near about the annual family gathering that holds at my grandparents house. My paternal grandparents gave birth to eight children who are all grown and has began their own family. Each of the children has at least two children and some of the children even have kids of their own too, which makes my grandparents great grandparents. This gathering always come up every first Sunday of the year and the arrival of almost every member of the family is why my grandparents house is a full one every first Sunday of the year. It has become a norm since I have been of age to always prepare for a family gathering, right after the whole festive season.
However in the case of last party of it’s kind, it held on the second Sunday of this year due to the fact that new year celebration happened to be on the first Sabbath day of this year.
On this day, I got a call from my aunt and she goes “ Hello Joyce, how’re you ? I replied “hello mummy” just the way I usually refer to her.
“ I just heard from your dad that you won’t be available for the get together. I won’t take that from you this time around, that is the same way you gave an excuse last year and even the one before the last. Finish up whatever you’re doing quickly and come over here at once”
I felt a little disappointed that my plans to dodge the party didn’t work out.
“okay ma, I’ll see you soon” I replied gently.
I had hid under the shade of my school’s resumption, which has always been third of January every year since I got admitted to my school, for two years in a roll and now that I’ve graduated, I did not have a solid excuse to stab the occasion. I remember the last time she called concerning the party, I was on my way to Ondo then to settle down in my school and worry not about the merriness going on in my hometown but this year marked a difference.
That instance, I picked up my cell phone again and called my younger brother;
“Hello Jay” he said and before I could reply, he continued “ thank God you called, I was about to call you. They all know that you’re around. I tried my best to convince them but it didn’t work. I think you should just get ready and join us, it’s almost time for the opening prayer”
“Alright, expect me soon” I said and dropped the call.
I entered my room, picked up my towel and head to the bathroom, to shower and get prepared for the party.
Children and grandchildren of my paternal grandparents come home from their various residence across Nigeria with exception of those in diaspora, nevertheless, they pay their dues to make the get together a memorable one. Every year, during this period, I get to see my great uncles and aunties that I’ve longed to see for long, sometimes, it becomes annual rite except for the last two years that I was absent. My cousins are not left behind in this gathering, each of them come with their various parents, they usually arrive few days before the event. Most times they stay with their siblings who reside in the hometown, even some come home after Christmas celebration every year to spend the new year celebration with my grandparents plus the annual festival that we all come together.
Personally, I do not fancy gathering of people who are not of my age group, this explains the reason for my absence in the past two years but what choice do I have when I get to see my cute little cousins again. This event has always been a great avenue to chitchat and have aunty- niece conversations with my big aunties and as well uncle-niece chats with my uncles. My aunties and uncles usually come around with their respective husbands and wives to celebrate together as one. All the wives married into the family eventually come together to draft plans for the market survey, the cooking and serving of food and drinks to grandparents, children, grandchildren, great grandchildren, themselves and guests on the D-Day.
On my arrival to my grandparents home that morning, it was around 11am, they had finished saying the opening prayers. I quickly found my way around and greeted everyone present. I moved from my grandpa to my grandma and then my distinguished aunties and uncles present, I went to one of the room to see my cousins, they were all so full of exhilaration to see me. My dad, his friends, other friends to the family and guests were all sited under the canopy installed in front of my grandparents house, talking, drinking beer, sodas and exchanging pleasantries. The house is an old building, built in the early 90s, it is a bungalow consisting of four two bedrooms flats, two self-contains, and several one room built as an extension of the house. My grandparents occupy a two bedroom flat while guests occupy the rest on annual rent.
After I spent a little time outside, greeting relatives and friends that came to merry with us, I found my way to the backyard of the house where wives do the cooking and serving. I could hear the sound of pestle jamming the mortar in the preparation of pounded yam, the sound of breakable ceramic plates brushing each other as they wash and dry them, the splashing of water from tap as they wash the consumables and the voices of women chatting and laughing as I approached the place. I located my mother immediately where she stood, stirring a big pot made of iron used in the preparation of any kind of soup for a large number of people, placed on a burner, as I walked up to her, I could perceive the aroma of locust beans and green spinach vegetables in freshly made red pepper sauce. From that, I knew she was making efo riro. That has been the tradition every year. I remembered the last time I was present for the party when I sat with a bowl filled with beef chunks, already boiled and sieved, I fried every one of them before I settled in the living room.
Pounded yam, efo riro and fried seasoned beef chunks has always been the main meal for the family members coupled with Jollof rice and chicken for the guests. I greeted her just so that she would be aware of my presence. At first, she was surprised to see me.
“ Joyceyy” just the way she calls me. “ you’re here! You see, I have always told you that this event is very important, it is an annual thing where you get to see your other family members and bond with them..” I can assure you, my mom is a typical African woman, she kept on talking with all seriousness and I was there nodding to every point she made. “ ..can you believe that Richard almost dated Grace before he finally got married to his present wife?” I exclaimed “really!” in big shock. She smirked and continued “..fortunately for them, they met at this kind of gathering, years ago and found out that they are actually the same family, you know what could have happened. Your big aunty, Grace’s mother married into another family where she gave birth to Grace”
“Oh wow, that’s good” I said and nodded with sense of understanding.
“But I am hungry now, please when will the food be done” I said to change the topic.
She shoved a cut of boiled chicken breasts in my mouth and pointed under a shade where some of the other wives were cooking. I greeted them quickly and left for the living room.
The wives and other guests that came to render help, served the food to all, accompanied each meal with drinking water for the family members and the present guests. Right after eating, the children discussed about varying topics ranging from the state of the country, education system, marriages and plans for the next annual party to old time memories and when they all plan to return to their residents. The grandchildren remain in the living room watching movies, drinking juices and snacks, bonding with ourselves, including the great grandchildren.
Apart from the cleaning done by the wives while cooking, the general cleaning which involves the sweeping of floors to remove used bottles of sodas and wines, uninstalling of canopies, all of these take place the next morning following the event.
The guests returned to their homes while my family member who travelled down stayed for two more days which has been the maximum so far before returning to their various abode to begin the new year’s work. I returned home with my brother and parents in the night, around 10pm that day, chatting and bringing back memory of what happened during the day. This has always happened every year as far as I can trace back to, and I believe it will continue even in generations to come.