๐๐๐ฒ, ๐๐ข๐ฏ๐
ยซ โก ยป
Hero without feeling
.
[Set in a world where we have super-powers.]
I couldn't lift my face in shame, why did it hurt my feelings like that? It was so stupidly clichรฉ, I should have seen it coming. No one falls in love with the invisible girl, because no one notices the invisible girl. And I'm not talking about invisibility literally, even though this should have been my superpower, I'm naturally fluent in it.
My locker was my last defense before entering classes, the weekend I had not been able to detach my body from the bed because the anguish of returning to the academy consumed my energy. First love should not be this hurtful, nostalgic and deceitful. I was a fool, I let myself be carried away by that manly facet that denoted its competitive indifference.
Ever since I took general education class I couldn't take my eyes off him, undaunted, captivating, and his nonchalant way of letting go through life attracted me, that he didn't have the characteristic traits of a hero amazed me, because in his heart he wanted to be one and that's what matters, isn't it? That your heart is aligned with your longing to be a savior.
Stupid thought, it filled me with hope.
My gift was so basic that I had never dreamed of being anyone's hero. But I strived to get a scholarship to the best hero school to get into a good college, I had to, I had no choice but to be my siblings' savior. With no mother to cuddle my despairs, a father who lived to work and two little ones to care for, I had no choice but to get off my butt this morning and face the consequences of unrequited love.
The sign that dictated 1-C urged me to flee, but I didn't, there were no shortcuts, I had no hero.
The murmurs and laughter around me started as soon as I took a seat right behind that black-haired student I had seen so many times in my dreams. How could I think of falling in love with Mike LeVine? The class favorite, the only one with real hopes of becoming a hero and who lacks a shred of remorse.
All because of daydreaming.
I thought I knew how to disguise my emotions, but it was just another deception. A letter, quite simple, but a letter nonetheless, had been left early last Friday morning on my study table, I almost had a heart attack when I saw who it was signed by, or according to me I thought it was him.
It quoted: I can see your smitten look, I want you to know that I like you too, I just want you to be brave and tell me, I'll look forward to it during lunch.
Mike.
I couldn't help but smile gawking, I wanted to believe it was real, and my heart was pumping so fast it felt like it was about to die. I believed, I really believed that not everything in my life could be so bad. Until lunchtime came, and I kept the dreams do come true mantra in my mind as I entered the cafeteria filled with students. He was seated at a center table, along with other outstanding classmates from our homeroom and hero class.
I approached with my hands shaking too much, but he cited to be brave, so I needed to have the guts to prove to him that I was worth it, that I could be worthy. I stopped just behind his back, the noise was decaying like a sonata, and he turned around with that typical gesture of disinterest that I liked.
I swallowed hard, his grayish gaze clashed with mine.
I just want you to be brave and tell me so.
I am, I am brave.
"Mike, I really like you."
That's how I dropped it, I didn't come with a prepared speech either, just three words loaded with all my feelings.
His eyebrows narrowed in confusion, and fear began to grow in the center of my stomach. That letter I carried in my hands was snatched without vehemence from my fragile fingers. He read it silently, and in the background the mockery was already beginning to take hold. When he looked at me again I was frozen with the coldness in his eyes, he squeaked with annoyance and crumpled the little note into a ball.
"Are you stupid enough to think I would leave you a letter? Sorry, I don't feel like wasting my time."
And just as I received her attention in an apathetic manner, just as gracefully she rose from the table and disappeared from my sight. Most of the curious eyes were on me, I was in a trance until a shrill voice brought me to my senses.
"Don't take it personally Tya, he's in another league, you're only known to teachers."
Laughter exploded. A few tears fell.
I didn't enter the remaining classes and hid in my room for the next few days, I felt humiliated, was there a need to be so cruel? I hated myself for being so easy to fool, I hated myself so much.
Now, classes went slowly, I ate lunch in the classroom and my eyes always tried to make eye contact only with my notebook and the blackboard. When the final bell rang I almost ran for the exit, but the teacher's voice stopped me.
"Tya and Mike, remember it's your turn to clean up the classroom today."
The other students filed out amidst giggles and unnecessary comments. It was when there were only the two of us left that I missed those giggles, they were less awkward than this situation.
We each took care of something in the classroom and ignored each other most of the time. I made an effort to finish quickly, and as I was gathering my things to leave, he spoke to me for the first time voluntarily. That plaintive voice invaded my ears.
"I want you to know that this situation is your fault."
I didn't want to look at him, but his words made me angry.
"I'm sorry for confusing things, it won't happen again" I said crestfallen, I wanted to cry, but I didn't want to lose what little dignity I had left.
"Feelings can't be important in our lives as heroes, they are a hindrance..."
I walked to the exit with a sudden hatred welling up from my being.
Before leaving, I looked at him with all the courage I had gathered on Friday and without my voice trembling, I said:
"How do you expect to be a hero if you can't treat the hearts of others well?"
And I disappeared without waiting for his reply.
This short story is inspired by a fictional world of superheroes, because of the age they are in I'm not defending either character, Mike is too focused on his dream and doesn't have a good attitude, while Tya has a heart of gold but errs on the side of naivete. You can judge it as you wish, I hope you find it entertaining.
Recent post of my stories, in case you want to read more from me.
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Translated with DeepL Free version.
All images used belong to me, they were taken with my Redmi Xiaomi Note 9 cell phone.