The ocean is vast no matter how I look at it. It's very pretty but at the same time, it is so scary. There are different creatures under the sea. But my father went into the ocean every day. I asked him once when I was just a child.
"Father, aren't you scared going under the sea?"
My father just smiled like he always showed to me and said.
"I'm scared Paul but I'm scared more seeing you my family will not have food to eat."
That was the last time when I talked to my father about the sea. As I recall I was just 7 years old at that time when I was always tagging along to my father going to the sea. Maybe because I love the feeling to swim in the sea and I found it fun seeing fishes. But when I grew older and went to school. I experienced bullying from my classmates. They always said that I smelled like fish. After they said that they almost died of laughing at me. I was so ashamed that I was the son of a fisherman.
My tears suddenly fell as I'm watching the vast ocean while thinking about what I did to my father when I was younger.
"Paul, hurry up, father caught a huge fish." An excited face of my father as he greeted me when I was on the street with my friends.
I just looked at him and immediately run towards the house. Father wondered what happened to me but he was always kind to me. He just ignored it and as he saw me inside the house he gave me an amount of penny.
"Buy cola because it's been a while we haven't drink it. Father caught a huge fish and we must celebrate it." A smiling father said to me after he gave the money.
We were just so poor back then that drinking cola was so special. They had a happy conversation in the table with my mother while eating. I didn't say anything because I wanted to say something personal to my father. I didn't want to ruin the mood that they were having. I waited for the right time to butt in but I just thought that I must not.
It was the day of graduation when I received a medal as an honour student. The day before that, I asked my mother to come in stage for me and to wear me that medal. But my mother didn't like that kind of thing. In fact, she was not forcing me to go to school but my father will be mad if my mother let me absent even just a day. My father always told me that I must finish my studies because unlike him he didn't know how to read and write. That's why in every activities or meeting that we need parents or guardian. My father was always there even though I wanted mother to be there.
The graduation came as I saw my father so happy sitting in the chair beside me. I knew he was so excited back then because he never stopped talking to me. I felt that he was the one that graduates at that time. My father showed overwhelming happiness while I was so embarrassed about it. I compared his appearance to the other parents. I felt pity for my father that I wished he never came instead. I was so disappointed that my father was there. I didn't want to see my classmates making fun of me because of how my father looks like. Although, I could tell how my father felt that time.
After the graduation ceremony, my father requested a photographer to take photos both of us. He wore my graduation hot and my medal. He was really happy back then seeing his son graduated high school. As I'm remembering how I couldn't stop myself from blaming the old me. How could I be ashamed of having a loving father? Why did I not be proud of him despite being a fisherman?
We had a meal at our house after we arrived home from the graduation ceremony. Before we started eating I told them about my plans in college. I told them the name of the school where I will be studying. After what I said, my father said something.
"Can I go there, Paul? I will bring you fresh fish because I know the fish in the city is not fresh already. We all know why we have a strong body because of the fresh fish we are eating almost every day."
He was just smiling after he said that words but I saw sadness when I said to him.
"Please don't father, I want to focus on studying."
Actually, that was just my reason so that the incoming classmates of mine will not see how my father looks like. Also, I didn't want them to find out that I'm the son of a fisherman. My father just silently agreed into it because he was always supported me. And for just 2 months I left my mother and my father who always showed a smile to me. Yes, he smiled but this is the first time I saw my father showing tears because of me. I felt guilty about why my father showed tears but I was still a bad son because I just left them without looking back. Although, my tears were falling as the bus started moving far from home.
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I was in college already and didn't want to go home even if we had a vacation. I decided not to and just take a job so that I could give them a reason not to go home. However, when I was in my fourth-year college. I saw my father hiding at the gate and maybe looking at me. He looked like a beggar because of his dress as a fisherman. I knew that my father missed me so much. I saw the people around me how he looked at him. Then I realised something when I saw them making fun of my father through their eyes. He is my father, do I need to treat him like others who treated him.
I was walking towards my father as my tears slowly falling.
"I'm so sorry father." I felt bad about how my father wanted to see me desperately.
Maybe he saw me walking towards him because he then smiled. I wanted to go with him but one of my classmates hold my hand to do our projects. My eyes were diverted and when I looked back to my father he was gone already. I was still searching for him but I couldn't find him anymore. I couldn't go home as well because our final exam was coming. Our home was far from our school so it's not easy to go home right away.
After the final exam, I went home to tell my parents that I will graduate and I wanted them to be there for me. When I arrived home, I went immediately to the sea to find my father. I saw my father fishing not far from the shore.
"FATHER...." I shouted while smiling.
When he heard me he pulled his fishing hooks and paddle the boat to come to me. I could tell he was so happy that I'm home because he paddled so fast to reach me. When he arrived at the shore he cried while smiling and hugged me.
"Ah, it's so warm, father's hug is so warm." In my thoughts as my tears of joy fell.
"How are you son? I was so worried about you." He said to me while crying.
I know my father misses me that much. I know it all how he feels towards me. And after that, I invited them to be in my graduation ceremony and as always father was so happy. He was so happy to be at my graduation ceremony again. This time I wasn't ashamed of how my father looks like. People might look at my father differently but I will not be like them. My father is kind and loving even though he is an uneducated person. He is more professional than any of the people.
After graduation, I applied for a job near our home. My father is getting old so when I don't have work I will go to the sea and be a fisherman. I found being a fisherman is fun but I need my father to teach me in fishing sometimes.
END
mrnightmare