My task for today is to help a young woman choose the career of her dreams, the one she is passionate about, the one that makes her do her job because she likes it and enjoys it, not because it is the career that will make her a millionaire. Many times we believe that those that take us to the top are the best professions, but in reality they do not make people happy.
Amber is a 17 year old girl who needs guidance regarding her future. Her mom is a dear friend, but we haven't been in touch for years. Seeing me so happy with what I do, she asked me to guide her daughter because she did not know how I could help her decide, the confusion in her mind made her believe that she was not good at anything and that prevented her from choosing. When I was going to meet her, I invited her to my work, Amber's mother told me that mine is one of the professions that catches her attention.
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When I have a few minutes of rest I see her in the distance, her mom had already sent me a picture of her, so I already recognized her and I went to her and said "Hi, my name is Vanessa and I have the best profession of all. Well, for me it is the best, if I were born again I would choose it again. Because when you love what you do, you stop calling your job that and turn it into one of the many things that give meaning to your life.
She answers me "my name is Amber and I come at the suggestion of my mom to clarify some doubts about how to know which is the most suitable profession for me".
Maybe your mom told you that I am a nurse by profession and by vocation. I say by vocation because I see my profession as a way to contribute a grain of sand to the world, but let me tell you that it was not always like that. There was a time when I doubted myself and my abilities. I even came to believe that I was not good for this. I had to take a pause to think and decide if it was really what I wanted.
The reason that made me doubt may be what helps you, Amber, to make a decision. I had just graduated as a nurse at the time, I really enjoyed helping patients, but one day I came across a very sad situation. That morning I had a patient in bed number 3, an almost 70 year old man, who was alone at the time. When I went to administer his medication at 8:30 a.m. I noticed he was very agitated, he told me "I am very hot". I told him that I would come in a moment, I put the rest of the medications and attended to the other patients that corresponded to me and then I went back and used a fan folder to blow air on him. He felt hot even though the environment was cool. The patient thanked me very much, he told me that if his daughter came and he was not awake to tell her how much he loved her.
I smiled at him and as I saw him calmer, I decided to go and do the rest of my job, since from his lips came the promise that he was going to rest. Not even 5 minutes had passed when the cardiac monitors of the patient in bed 3 started beeping, my patient was having a respiratory arrest, both the doctor and the rest of the staff did what we could. When a patient goes into respiratory arrest it becomes the priority of all the staff there, you have to get that precious life back that is being lost!
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Unfortunately, we were unable to resuscitate my patient in bed 3, he passed away at 10:30 am on July 23, 2008, a date I will never forget. Amber you may wonder if it affected me so much because it was the first time I saw someone die. But no, unfortunately I had seen many patients die. I was affected by the fact of having shared with him those last days and those last minutes, wishing him to get out of his illness soon because at that time I realized what a beautiful person he was and that he deserved to share a little more of his love with others.
When her daughter arrived she cried in despair, while I did the same in the distance. You are prepared for all that, but you never resign yourself to losing people, you always want to see them get better. When her daughter calmed down I had to give her the message her dad left her, I told her..... "the last words your dad told me were to tell you that he loved you, just in case when you arrived he had fallen asleep".
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My patient's daughter hugged me tightly and at that moment I felt her pain, it hurt me as if a very close relative had just died and doubts about my profession began to arise. Day by day people die in a hospital and you have to learn to be strong and be a source of encouragement for the relatives. I began to feel that I was not qualified for this job and I was afraid of losing another person on my shift.
Amber I needed a pause to think if it was worth it to feel that pain when a life is lost, because even if you don't cry you feel it in your heart. After a few days the pain and fear was diminishing but it was totally eliminated when I received a visit from the daughter of the patient in bed 3, she brought me a bouquet of red roses and I remembered the conversation I had had one day with my patient where I told her that the gift I appreciated the most were the red roses. She told me my dad also told you something before he died, he asked me to remind you how valuable you have been to him at this stage, how brave and loving you are, you are the best nurse he had ever known.
Image in pixabay by alizodelmonte
Those words interrupted the pause I made in my life to organize what I really wanted to be in life. That day I decided again to be a nurse and although I may sometimes feel that my heart is hurt by losing someone, I am left with the beauty of sharing, helping and caring for a person in what may be their last days.
In closing I just told Amber, when I made my decision to become a nurse I never imagined I would find siblings, grandparents, cousins and most of all friends in each of my patients and their families. Being surrounded by so much love is worth it.
Amber just smiled and thanked me as she left. Four years have passed since then and today I am sitting here listening to her thesis acknowledgements, because she says that my example and vocation pushed her to make the best decision, to be a nurse by vocation.
Publication originally written in Spanish and translated by translator Deepl.