Slow to speak, yet speaks with powerful words... I can only watch as my dad prioritized his mother's decision over his wife's decision. Whom are we to blame?
Source: Meta AI
My mum began by narrating their love story. The wedding ceremony was great, and everyone gave them gifts, including money. They gave birth to me, and they named me Pamilerin. I brought happiness to their lives after they had lost a previous pregnancy.
My mum's mother brought goats and many other luxuries to make the wedding hold. My dad's mother brought some items too... The wedding was a successful one.
Days drift to weeks and finally to years. Grandma, my dad's mother, noticed that my dad was struggling financially yet decided to bring her family members to the recently wedded family for waec exams because my dad was a physics teacher, part-time, in one of the government institutions.
My dad agreed to the first person, who currently lives overseas. Grandma, on seeing that, wanted her other family members to get educated. She brought the second, third, and fourth born to the family... Some of them stole my mum's and, at times, my dad's money.
The majority of my dad's salary went to feeding, and my mum, earning less, this made her more vulnerable. She spent her entire salary feeding her husband's family members until she couldn't go further in her education.
The last born, still young, sends information about the family to the grandmother, who uses information like that to cause chaos. Information about the kind of food, type of food that was available was known by grandmother. My mum didn't have a mobile phone, and my dad usually promised her but never got one for her.
I watched as a once happy family became a family of persistent quarrel. Yet my father's mother always came with her own addition to the issue. Money that we don't spend as a family, grandma collected it from my dad... failed promises and many more.
Soon my mum got tired because of my dad's unsupportive attitude. My dad prefers to get food on credit instead of paying, leading to an unending cycle of debts. His mother blames my mum, telling her to check herself. My dad never defended her; he only watched.
Soon my junior sister and then my younger brother came in... One of his brothers, my dad's brother, used to say that my dad spends money on his wife, which was contrary to what existed. My mum has been championing many things. When my mum got a government job, my grandma was shocked; she said, "Why won't her uneducated first child not have a job?"
My mum was continuously living in the cycle of unending bitterness. My mum's mother passed away... My dad decided to make party dishes for his wife, and they planned to make it when they got to a location close to the burial site. My dad, on telling his mum, changed every plan and informed her at the last minute.
They went to cook the food at Ekiti, at a town with bad roads and many other issues, and then they transported it to Osun State - the location of the the burial ceremony. On the burial day, my mum waited for the dishes to feed her guests. She sourced from other family members. Towards the party's end, my dad and his family finally came...
One of my mum's brothers welcomed them and, seeing the food or dishes, responded, "Is this not too small for the guests?" Though he said that, my mum had sourced from other family members. He then sat on a chair and asked them to serve him. He asked for quite a number of meats, and grandma began to grumble that the food wasn't much.
He gave an immediate response, "When you want to feed a large number of guests, you don't cook little food; you cook a large amount of food. Also, this food doesn't look like you have made it for the guests but for yourselves. This is unfair."
My mum's brother ate to his satisfaction while they felt ashamed...
The family was always facing ups and downs, and fights continued in an unending fashion. After every fight, it felt like everyone was staring at me. I felt guilty despite not being the one fighting. Many neighbors tried to settle their quarrel; sometimes, I opened the door to let them in because I couldn't bear it as a small boy...
Soon my father's father married another wife. 3-4 years later, grandma died. She died. My dad cried and cried like a child. He planned with his family members despite knowing that some of them aren't supportive for the burial. My mum supported a little.
Surprisingly, she didn't even make party dishes together with the other family members; she cooked hers separately... When my dad's guests came, they enjoyed drinks, and my dad was flabbergasted because my mum's dishes were used while others stood at the major gathering venue for food.
Initially, he was sad, pained, but my mum has evolved. Though he misses the boat; however, their love grew stronger day by day. As a man, one has to be wise. Learn from other marriages. That is why I watch Mount Zion movies, especially family movies.
Thanks for reading.