Some months ago, I met someone, or rather, I got closer to someone I already knew. For the purpose of this story, I would call him U.Y., and he lives in the same compound as mine.
It all started the night he misplaced his house keys and couldn’t find them. At 6:00 p.m., I got back from work really stressed out and found him searching for his keys.
“Hey, my guy”, he greeted.
“Hey, good evening. Why are you still standing outside?”, I asked.
“I can’t find my keys”, he replied while searching his pockets.
“Oh”. I dropped my bags on a nearby bench, and we both searched his bag, but the keys didn’t turn up.
I had to go and drop my own bags in my room and get changed into something more comfortable before going to join him on the bench outside. We talked out different ways to break the lock, and we already called a carpenter to force the door open when a call came in on his phone. At the end of the call, it turned out that his keys were with a colleague at work, and the person would be bringing them for him. The carpenter still came, and we apologised for wasting his time after telling him that we had found the keys.
The compound we lived in was bubbly in the evenings, as everyone would be back from work and would just gist, play games of cards or ludo, or just sit outside for company. I stayed outside talking to him and everyone until they brought his keys before going to my own room to do some laundry. Laundry in this case is washing with my hands, which takes some time. I remember finishing them in two hours and stepping out again at U.Y.’s call to talk.
For some weird reason, that night was different—the way we conversed without actually saying much. I went back to my room again after some minutes to have my bath and get comfortable in my own space.
By 9:00 p.m., U.Y. called me out again and told me that he would be travelling across a few states to Benin that night. One of his trucks had capsized there, and he needed to be there. I was surprised, and I asked if he needed company until the truck that would take him to Benin arrived, and he agreed. We were outside talking until midnight, around the time the truck arrived.
That was the day everything changed. U.Y. would call more often, and when he was back from Benin, he would spend more time with me.
I always have doubts about anyone who wants to get to know me; most times, I am scared of it because you may not like what you see beneath my calm façade. I worry because I am not sure that I can handle another wrong choice of mine. I wouldn’t want someone to hurt me emotionally and break my trust. I do not crave the idea of being dependent on someone and feeling helpless without them. I had spent some time away from relationships, and I cherished the peace that came with it, except for the occasional loneliness. I worried that U.Y. was there to use me and leave. I worry because I believed I wouldn’t be enough.
Some weeks later, he was still persistent about dating me. I tried to push him away, and he wouldn’t budge. It was that way for a while until I fell ill last month and had to spend some days being admitted to the hospital. He was with me, bringing me food and a change of clothes, staying with me all through, and rubbing my feet or hands whenever it hurt. I wouldn’t lie; I didn’t know that I mattered that much.
Image credit is mine
After I was released from the hospital, I had to go back to work immediately, and he always prepared my breakfast and bath water and also massaged my swollen hands and feet at the end of the day. Even my closest friends wouldn’t have such a time. He took time off work to care for me. I felt cared for by this stranger that I was just getting to know.
I remember one of our very random conversations on a sunny Saturday afternoon after he picked me up from work. We boarded a minibus and sat in the back seat. I laid my head on his left shoulder as he held my hand.
“I have expectations if I am going to date you. I have hopes and dreams for myself, and now I would have to have them for you too”.
“Hmm. Okay. Like what?”, he asked.
“We would need to talk about our future plans. I need to see if I fit with you and if you fit with me. Relationships shouldn’t be based on only how I make you feel”, I said to him.
U.Y. smiled at me and squeezed my hand. “I am glad you started this conversation because it means you are starting to consider me and trying to fit me into your plans. I honestly had doubts about you considering me as a potential partner”.
It was my turn to smile at him. He looked good in his white round-necked shirt, which was a stark contrast to his dark skin.
“Well, I didn’t know I would consider dating someone as dark as you”, I jeered, and he laughed.
“You scored a point with that, though, but you would have to accept me like this”, he reminded me.
We spent our time talking about some of the things we wanted for the future until we got home.
I may have found someone who cares profoundly about me and continues to show it. I am glad he also respects me. I think I may have found the one, although I still have doubts, and they are coming from a place of deep fear and hurt. And if and when he reads this, I hope he knows that I care about him a lot and that he matters too, and hopefully, my many mistakes, both current and future ones, won’t ruin how he feels about me, and hopefully, time will let me show him just how much I care about him.
Cheers to the future! I hope it’ll end well.