‘Time has a way of revealing things. It can be a source of great distress, a surprise, or a source of great joy. You would never know which one you’ll get to experience’. I thought about this while sipping on a hot cup of coffee on my balcony on the thirtieth floor of East End, which overlooks most of the entire city. I loved this part of my morning routine, the part where I get to sit on my balcony and watch the sun rise, feeling its warmth spread over my almost bare skin, sipping water and then coffee, and then taking in the view of the city beneath me. It was one of the few moments I felt alive and thankful for nature and health. In the eighty years I have lived, I have not exactly had a single regret.
I am Caroline Gibbons, a retired chief editor for Forbes magazine. I lived a career life, and I was happy and fulfilled in it. I was able to have a family of my own when, two years after meeting Charles, I got married to him, and we had one set of twins, Cayden and Catherine. My life went as planned. I was devoted to my husband, my children, and my job. Charles died five years ago, and though we had spent over half the years I had lived as a person and I had missed him, I stopped loving him in a romantic manner a long time ago. I stayed married to him because he was a good friend, husband, and father to our children. I have nothing but respect for him.
I do not have regrets, but I wonder what life may have been like had I chosen a swimming career, as swimming is one of my favourite hobbies, or had I chosen to stay with my first and only true love, Garret, whom I met in high school in Iowa. We were two years apart. His smiles made my heart thud, and his words were always reassuring.
“Oh, shoot! I shouldn’t be thinking about Garret right now”, I said out loud to the empty air, blushing. I wrapped the flimsy white robe I was putting on around myself to shield me against the cold morning air. ‘I should go get ready for my yoga class’, I thought to myself and proceeded to do just that.
As I stepped out of my apartment, my phone rang. “Incoming call. Cayden”, my phone sang at me.
I tried to juggle holding my bag, my water bottle, locking my door, and searching for my phone. I had forgotten that age was no longer on my side. My house keys and my bottle fell to the floor, and I still did not succeed in getting my phone out of my bag. I felt exasperated and even frustrated because now I would have to bend over to pick them up.
“Hey, ma’am. Here you are, ma’am”, a young lady with deep brown hair and a kind smile, handed over my keys and my water bottle.
“Thank you, dear”, I said in gratitude as I collected my effects from her. I was sure that it would have taken me a longer time to do it by myself.
“You are welcome, ma’am”, she said, smiling at me. And I got to note the freckles scattered over her nose and her hazelnut-coloured eyes before she turned away from me to leave.
“What is your name?”, I suddenly find myself asking.
“Jane, ma’am”, she replied.
“Oh, such a nice name”, I was shocked by the simplicity of her name and her physical features. I was intrigued; I needed to know her. Maybe the time I spent all alone most times can be replaced with something else.
“Are you going downstairs?”, I asked.
“Yes, ma’am”.
“Could you accompany me, since we are both going in the same direction?”. I watched the hesitation displayed on her face before she said yes.
“Oh, thank you”.
“You’re welcome, ma’am”.
"Please call me Caroline. I know I am old already, but there’s no need to rub it in”, I said to her.
“Okay. Miss Caroline,”, she said laughingly, holding my arm with her own as she led me to the elevator. ‘I think I like her’, I thought. We conversed about cats and flowers. I hadn’t had the heart to buy another cat since Mr. Sam, my last orange cat, died.
Yoga class wasn’t far from where I lived; in fact, it was just a 15-minute walk. I have always walked there. Unfortunately, Jane was going in the opposite direction, and I felt sad when she told me. I had hoped on the way down that she was going to happen to go in the same direction as I did.
“Goodbye, Caroline”, she said to me, going her own way. ‘Hmm. Jane’. She reminded me of someone that I knew—her eyes, her smile, and her lips. I just couldn’t put my finger on it. That day went by, as did a few others. It had been almost a week since I last saw that girl, Jane. This time around, I had nowhere to go, and all I had was myself for company.
‘You should seek Jane out’, my mind yelled at me. I was hesitant at first, but boredom gnawed at me. After a while, I showered and dressed up. I decided to use my flowery perfume, ‘Fontan’, with a strawberry mix since Jane loved flowers. I dressed in white jeans and a yellow sweatshirt with a comfortable black pair of mules. While I dressed, I wondered if she was home and if she would welcome me.
I walked out of my apartment, locked it, and went to hers. This time, I wasn’t carrying too many belongings, just my phone and the first edition of the book ‘The Town Crier’ by ‘Edisson Mount’. I knocked on her door, and in just about a minute, Jane answered.
“Oh. Hello, Jane!”, I greeted cheerily.
“Hello, Miss Caroline. How are you this morning”, she asked with a smile on her pretty face.
“Well, I have been better. I hadn’t seen you since last week and thought I should check in on you”.
“That's absolutely nice of you. Do you want to come in?”
“Yes. I thought you wouldn’t ask. Boredom is killing me, I said to her as I walked into her apartment and took it all in. She has a large yellow sofa, which screamed, ‘Come lie on me’. It was set in front of the largest TV I had ever seen.
“I never knew you would own a television set like this."
“Oh, since I live alone, I like it for movie nights. Occasionally, I would invite my friends over. We have done it a few times since I moved in”, she told me.
“You must be the quiet sort; I haven't heard a single noise coming from here since you moved in”.
“It is because I made the apartment soundproof.".
“Oh”.
“Coffee?”, she asked.
“Yes please. Black. No milk”, I said as I sat on the yellow sofa. I didn’t want to sleep off on it on my first visit here, hence my request for black coffee.
In a few minutes, she served me the coffee and sat next to me.
“I love your perfume. It’s Fontan, right?”
“You’re correct!”. We talked about perfumes, and after some time, I asked her. “What is your surname? It shouldn't be just Jane”.
“Oh, I am Jane Gilburn”.
“Gilburn?” I was shocked and in doubt.
“Gilburn? What is your father’s name?”.
“Garret. Garret Gilburn”.
I felt my head spin, and it took me a minute to catch myself. “Are you sure?”, I asked her.
“Um. Yes. Miss Caroline? Are you alright?”
“Yes. Yes”. I stuttered. “Do you have a photo of him? Can I see him? Forgive me, please, but can I?”
She eyed me weirdly before acceding to my request.
“Here’s my family photo album”. She handed it over to me, and I opened it. The first picture was that of Garret Gilburn at the high school prom. I clutched my hand to my chest and thought I couldn’t breathe for a second.
"Garret", I said.
“Do you know my father?”
“Yes. He was my first love, and I thank the stars that I was able to meet a child of his before I died. Is he still alive?”
“Yes. Let me call him”. She picked up her phone, and I could only watch her dial.
“Hey dad. Someone wants to speak with you. Her name is Caroline—”
“Gibbons. Caroline Gibbons. Jane handed the phone to me, and the next thing I heard was Garret’s voice, which had gotten better and kinder with age.
“Hello Caroline. I've missed you”. It brought tears to my eyes.
“Hello, Garret. It's been such a long time”, I replied, and we spoke for a long time about what we have been up to since high school.