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Oh, dear. What have you gotten Nana into this time, polecat? A rocket ship, good heavens! All my friends are back at the Four Winds home. It’s almost time for Wordle night!
Wait, it’s just the two of us? You never were that good at conversation. Nana loves ya, but it’s true. How long is this trip, did you say? Mars! God, Republicrats and your egos. I’m going to miss the Fall prom as well, aren’t I?
Agnes will never let me live this down. I can hear her now, “Good thing you weren’t there! How does my crown look?”
Sigh, I suppose we’ll just have to make the best of it. Dearie, is
that light supposed to be flashing? Sit back a little, you’re too close to that screen.
The funeral was quite lovely wasn’t it. I guess I have you to thank for that? The swans were a bit much. They are my favorite. You knew that didn’t you? Maybe having more money than God hasn’t completely ruined you. One can only hope.
It got to your father for sure. Felt like the rules didn’t apply to him anymore. You got more’n a little bit of him in ya, dontchya? Rascal! I never understood what my poor Suki saw in that man.
Seriously, boy. Sit back. I’ll turn this rocket right around if you don’t listen. I swear I will.
Oh my God! Is that my locket twirling in your grubby man-child hands? Did you take that off my freshly primped body at the funeral when I wasn’t looking? I thought I taught you better manners! God, that’s creepy.
Explains how I got here though. Jeez, I should have known it wasn’t ‘unfinished business’ or some such BS. You Shanghaied me! Honestly, this is selfish, even for you.
Give it back. Damn, my hand passed right though it and you didn’t feel a thing did you? Figures…par for the course.
Polecat, listen, I know seeing Nana in that stainless steel Cyber-coffin shook you. I understand, it made you think about your own mortality. But for Pete’s sake! Dragging me off like this on some cockamamie ego trip? That crosses the line.
Are you even listening to me?
ssZZtt
Mission control, this is Colony Ship X-1. High Earth orbit stable, preparing exit burn for Mars.
“I’m sorry, sir. Please repeat. It sounded like you said ‘exit burn for Mars’. Also, please stick to the official mission name Full Payload Prototype. It’s not a colony ship yet.”
Negative. Colony Ship X-1 is fully operational. Computer, execute protocol 66. Disconnect and isolate from ground-based controls. Diagnostics feed only. Start full burn countdown.
Sir! That ship is set up for a 6-person crew. This is an orbital test only. You can’t pilot that ship yourself, let alone start a colony!
Goodbye, mission control, wish me luck. A. Long Dusk out.
ssZZtt
Anthony Long Dusk! I will not be a party to anything illegal. Take me back immediately! Or throw my locket out the garbage chute. I’d rather drift in space.
What is that vial in your hands? Mitosis Inc.? Are you on drugs again? Answer your Nana!
Polecat…do NOT push that button!
You pushed the button.
Wow! That’s loud! Why does everything have to be so loud with you?
Hello! Do you see these five fingers in front of your face? The same ones that changed your diapers?
You can’t see them…can you?
Can’t hear me either.
As above, so below…
This is why I never go anywhere with you.
This is going to be one hell of a trip.