I got out of bed, restless once again.
Standing next to the window in the middle of the night, staring into pitch darkness, a lot of thoughts went through my mind. I tapped my fingers on the window pane lightly, my right foot following suit in rhythmic thuds.
As had become a habit, I chewed lightly on my lips, leaning against the window frame and sighed heavily.
"Nana?" Came a hushed whisper. I turned around in surprise. But it had only been little Ako standing there with a lamp.
"Why are you still up?" We asked almost at once. She giggled. I couldn't help but smile at her innocence amidst my worries.
"Come here" I beckoned, walking back to my bed. She happily obliged.
"What's up with you little one." I said tapping my index finger on her little nose making her giggle even more. "Keep it down Ako, you don't want to wake anyone."
She nodded.
Bringing her laughter to a halt, she dropped the lamp gently and turned back to me.
"I can't sleep sister Nana, Kwame snors so much!" She complained with her usual demonstrative gestures, swaying her hands in the air.
"It can't be that bad! I said holding back my laughter.
"It is!" She shot back, bulging her eyes to emphasize her seriousness.
"Okay... Okay. You can always sleep right here with me if you want to."
Her face broke into a triumphant grin. I knew it wasn't the snoring. Kwame was only two years older than herself and didn't make such sounds while sleeping. He was a very conscious child.
The space. It was the lack of space. Five children sharing a bed wasn't a very comfortable circumstance.
Ako jumped into my bed, making herself comfortable. Snapping me out of my thoughts, I turned to face her. She had curled herself up, it was a cold January night.
"There you go." I smiled, covering her with a spare blanket.
"I have a question sister Nana."
I raised a brow inquisitively. What was it this time around?
"Does God really love us? why does he allow all these bad things happen to us?"
I turned around staring at her, confused. She sat up on the bed and shrugged.
"Well I do think God loves us." I managed to reply.
"Then why do bad things happen to good people?”
I froze, unsure of a response. “I don’t know.”I whispered inaudibly.
“I don’t know Ako”
We stared at each other for what felt like eternity.
She nodded at me, as if getting answers from my silence. And maybe as a compensation, I pulled her close into a hug.
The minutes dragged by sluggishly as deep silence enveloped the room, I held her close in my arms stroking her hair gently as she drifted to sleep before tucking her in bed.
The room remained still, devoid of any sounds.
After endless moments of turning and tossing in bed, I went on to shut the windows, blew out the lamp and got back into bed next to Ako. Staring at the board ceilings, I breathed heavily, uneasy as ever.
My leather watched that laid on my side stool told me it was one past midnight but my eyes were still agape and sleep no where close.
My mind was in chaos. My thoughts distraught. I began bitting on my lower lip, but of course it had gotten sore and painful so I stopped.
I took a deep breathe before sitting up in bed again, trying my possible best to calm my nerves. I closed my eyes a short while before laying back oblivious of the loud rumbling my movements had caused.
"Sister Nana” she began. It was Ako again. “Do you think bad people get to pay for their bad deeds?"
This time I was calmer. I fought back a smile tugging at the edge of my lips in the darkness, certain of my response.
"Yes Ako, they get to. They definitely get to pay for their bad deeds, someday."
"Some day soon." I added.
Within myself.