Memories have a funny way of keeping things one would rather leave buried. For me, it laid quietly in the back of my head, like an old song I had long forgotten but somehow still knew the lyrics to. It was like a deep engagement, resurfacing unexpectedly, sometimes in the sound of music from a nightbar, or the smell of alcohol, or in the soft glow of the city lights shimmering against the night sky.
Fifteen years ago, I was twenty one, young and foolish. I was just a girl who was curious, and wanted to experience life at its peak. But somehow that night became a memory stuck in my head forever.
I had met him at a small bar opposite campus, filled with strangers and people who wanted to either celebrate or drown away their sorrows. That night felt wild. I had come in honour of my friends birthday party celebration, and it was the end of the semester. I wanted to be reckless for once, do something crazy. The neon lights casted a warm glow over the bar, loud music pounded from behind the speakers, setting just the right mood. He leaned against one of the bars with a glass in hands when our eyes met. He was tall, and broad. His eyes held something dangerous, a fire within that I was inadvertently drawn too.
We talked for hours, laughing about nothing and everything at once. The chemistry was undeniable. His name was Trust. He made me laugh more than anyone ever did in years. We shared stories about life, childhood, dreams and the uncertainty of life. There was a connection or perhaps it was all in my head. But neither of us could control what happened next. Alcohol took over our sense of reasoning. We acted impulsively, recklessly. And soon, it became a night of passion between two strangers who barely knew each other.
By morning the reality of what we had done settled heavily in the air. I had an early interview for an internship opportunity. Trust needed to catch a flight for a job abroad. We exchanged numbers quickly, neither of us ready to talk about yesterday.
At first, we kept in touch, but the world has a way of pulling people apart. Life moved quickly for me, and him I guess. I was graduating soon, writing my project and had a job opportunity already waiting for me.
Eventually, the messages stopped, the calls reduced and gradually we lost contact with each other.
But a child came into the picture, a constant reminder of that night.
I debated looking for him, telling him. My hands hovered around the call button far too many times than I could count. But in the end, I chose differently.
Alexander, a sweet young with bright brown eyes just like the father and a smile that never see of fade away. Like all children, Alexander was always curious and asked a lot of questions. Some I find hard to answer. Not because I didn't know the answers to them but because somethings are better not knowing.
I remember one chirpy morning, he called me
“Mummy? Do I have a father? Other kids have one.”
“Of course you do, He’s just not available right now” I had said with a heaviness in my heart.
Life went smoothly for me and my son, Alexander. But fate had a twisted way of messing with our lives. The day it all changed began like every other ordinary Sunday. My sister called, sounding excited over the phone.
“Sis, I need you to meet someone special,” she said .
“And who might that be” I asked skeptically.
“Don't worry you’ll see” She answered cheekily.
I smiled, my sister has always been so dramatic.
“okay”
We got to the restaurant quite on time. Alexander walked through the glass doors with awe in his eyes, taking in the beautiful scenery. I held him in my hands, as I tried smoothing my rumpled dress. My sister waved from across the room, a man sitting beside her.
We walked to their table, exchanging hugs and pleasantries. It had been a long time since I last saw my sister. The man beside her stood up for a handshake and I froze on the spot the instant our eyes met. I hadn't noticed him sooner.
Trust
Memories kept flooding back as we locked eyes with each other. The shock evident in both our faces. The world seemed to have frozen in time for some minutes.
For a moment, neither of us spoke. My sister cleared her throat, breaking us out of our shock.
“Tessa, this is my fiancee Trust”
What!, I screamed at the back of my mind.
Fate indeed was really playing a twisted game here.
Trust on the other hand, looked between me and my sister, confusion evident in his expression, and back to the little boy standing beside me who had his exact eyes. The resemblance was undeniable. His eyes glazed over, realization dawning on him as he put the pieces together.
“ Okay, you two look like you've seen a ghost”
“ Do you know each other from somewhere?” My sister pried.
“Uumm yes, we met once on campus fifteen years ago” He answered vaguely, shifting uncomfortable in his seat.
I looked away, unable to swallow the lump in my throat. For fifteen years, I had managed to keep the past in the past. But now, here it was, standing in front of me, entangled with my sister.
I looked up from my hands to catch him staring at Alexander with a tender gaze, his exact replica. They both exchanged glances and I could feel something unspoken pass between them.
Sometimes, memories do not stay in the past, they come back to rewrite the future.