In any kind of relationship – parents to children, children to parents, friendship with the same gender, male and female, romantic relationship, husband and wife, employer and employee and in every organization; how we relate, treat, or handle people has a profound impact on their self-esteem, confidence and even their personality. While we relate we people, we have to be cognizant of the fact that our behavior towards them, our attitude, and, most times, the way we talk to them can make them develop either of the above-listed traits over time.
If you trace the cause of low self-esteem and inferiority complex that many people are struggling with now, you will discover that a lot of those traits began to form in their lives based on how someone treated them and sometimes what a particular person said to them in the past. It is more destructive when a person experiences all of these during the formative years of childhood. At that point, the effects can last for a lifetime.
Psychologists postulate that what a child hears or sees, and basically how it is being treated will greatly affect its personality and inform its behavior as the child eventually metamorphoses into adulthood. Many people have not been able to fully discover their true selves or maximize their potential because of self-doubt and fear that they had cultivated during their childhood in diverse unkind experiences that they may have had.
It can be more destructive if the victim is not too beautiful or handsome, or someone who has a blemish or body effects. I had a conversation with a friend of mine some time ago. We worked in the same organization and she happened to be a very nice person not only to me but equally to other members who knew the value of her virtue.
While we were working together, I observed that she was so reclusive and would not want to get too close to anybody. As we became more close, I asked her why she chose to live a reclusive life despite the enviable charm she exuded. It was at that point that she broke down in tears and told me that she had always felt inferior, especially before beautiful people. As she told me, this started when she was denied employment in a certain establishment because the vacant position needed a beautiful person who was presentable, and she didn't meet the conditions. I don't know how or why an employer chose to be so cruel with words.
As a parent, you need wisdom so that you will be able to first accept the uniqueness of each of your children and second so that you will be able to handle them according to their uniqueness. A parent who has the habit of shouting at their child may likely raise children who will grow up struggling with their self-esteem.
Raising a child does not only require providing only the material needs that are essential for a child's growth, parenting also means that you need to ask a simple and polite question that you need to ask as Manoah did in Judges 13:12 (KJV) "And Manoah said, Now let thy words come to pass. How shall we order the child, and how shall we do unto him?" So that you can have divine guidance on what you should and what you should not do to your child as a parent.
It does not only behoove parents to show empathy and understanding with words; it does to everybody. Never be caught in a situation where a fellow human will begin to feel less of themselves because of how you talk, treat, or relate with them, even when they come short of your expectations. People who grow under your care are bound to make mistakes, when they do, don't let their weakness overshadow their strengths by constantly magnifying it. Always do your best to bring out the best in people. Don't unconsciously dim that light that is trying to shine.