You're in a meeting with someone and they are sharing their story to you you are listening and nodding your head while trying to plan your next response to what the person is saying, you are absorbing every word that the person is saying.
Do you know the kind of listening that is very a strong one. It's like a pure magic. Listening is a very superpower that can be of help to relationships. It can build trust and it can skyrocket your quality of life, so if you want to grow in influence then you should not be always focused on our talking others or try to win every argument.
When you listen, it is not just about staying quiet all the time and letting others do the talking always. But you're just giving them their own divided attention and understanding their point from their own point of view. This kind of thing makes people feel very valued and well understood. When you try to release it with strong attention you create a very valuable space where people feel very safe to share what they truly want to share with you.
Many people want to share and talk to you and sometimes if you're a good listener they will trust you so much with your words and this is where the real influence begins not by trying to dominate this conversation or trying to build your connection.
Just imagine if you are just in a heated discussion and instead of trying to prove a point you just pause for a while you listen, you don't judge then after a while you ask thoughtful questions.
You show genuine curiosity about the perspective of others and why they say what they are saying at that point in time and then when it's time for you to speak, you try to take a point from what they have said and add yours and back up your facts and you speak from your heart. You can use the word phrase like "I hear you say", in search, then suddenly you see people will easily trust you they will feel seen around you, have melted their hearts not just with those clever arguments, but you have showed empathy to them and if you don't know this is an influence wrapped up in actions.
Don't just win people over by talking to them, you make people admire you a lot, people will start to notice when you like to listen with intention and passion, they begin to see as someone who value others and their views and this kind of is very magnetic. It always draws people attention to you making them want to follow you not because, you demanded or fight for it or you forced them but because you, you've suddenly earned their respect.
You have to become a good master listener, you can put your device down when others are sharing it with you, make good eye contact resist the urge to interrupt what others are saying. Even if you have an idea and just be open-minded with your questions that show that you're curious and not trying to condemn the view of others and when it's your turn to speak make sure your thoughts are backed up from what the other person said and sometimes this is not a bad agreement to everyone about.
Those influence is not about just being very loud in the room, it's about being the one who always make others feel seen. When you practice this kind of science, it's kind of powerful. Then you see how people always draw towards you, you will immediately build your trust, you will get loyalty and you will definitely grow your influence in so many, so many ways.
When you are in a conversion next time, listen and don't judge. This is a quiet and hidden path to power that you never knew.