Allow me to continue what I started yesterday about counterfeit hopes. Let me share Lane and Tripp's description of these false hopes:
Changing Our External Circumstances
If there is a chance that you can change your external situation, then do it. There is nothing wrong with it. What made it wrong according to Lane and Tripp is the idea that the betterment of our lives depends primarily on our external circumstances such as a difficult situation or a difficult person to deal with and not on what is going on inside our hearts. The problem with this perspective is that the attention is given to people or situations outside of us rather than our inward person. This kind of mindset misses our need for grace to change us.
Both Lane and Tripp gave us familiar excuses that shift the blame to our circumstances in life:
I need more money.
If I could change my looks, my life would be better.
If I could get out of this marriage and find someone who appreciates me, I wouldn't be so depressed.
If I could only find a person who truly loves me, life would be great.
I find the third example very personal for that's how I think right now. It is good that reading the book reminds me that such a mindset is still focused on my difficult situation and the "woman that God gave me." This seems old and very familiar. Adam pioneered such an excuse.
Change Your Behavior
Yes, many of our problems indeed originate from our wrong behavior. However, this kind of approach still addresses only the external actions and not what's going on inside our hearts. From a Christian perspective, behavior change is rooted in God's work of grace in our hearts through the power of the Holy Spirit. What needs to happen is a heart change that will result in behavior change. Dealing with the outside without touching the real issue inside of us will not lead to a long-term change.
Change the Way You Think
According to Lane and Tripp, this view of change is closer to the biblical view of change but it is still not enough for it takes the person and work of Christ for granted.
Believe in Yourself
This one is widespread. It starts with a positive perspective of our inherent goodness. Love yourself first. "Learning to love yourself is the greatest love of all" as one popular song tells us. You need to recover a high view of yourself.
The problem with this perspective is that it runs contrary to the teaching of the Bible about the human heart. The prophet said:
The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it? (Jeremiah 17:9).
Instead of affirming the primary importance of the "self," Lane and Tripp admonish the people of God to see ourselves as the Bible describes us. See how they encapsulate the biblical idea of the self:
We feel small because we are small, but false teaching encourages us to reject those thoughts of smallness by affirming our own greatness. This may work for a while, but it rarely lasts. Reminders of our smallness and our failures bring us back to where we started. But the cross of Christ shows me how glorious, merciful, and forgiving God is and how great his love is for me in Christ. This recognition of my guilt and God's glory is the only thing that can eradicate shame and self-loathing. And it is found outside me, not within me. I am called to esteem God, not myself (Timothy S. Lane and Paul David Tripp, How People Change, 2006, pp.23-24).
Just Trust Jesus More
As I said in the previous article, I find this surprising. I thought this was all that we needed. The context of "trusting Jesus" here is the view that Jesus is a therapist rather than the Redeemer. Yes, trusting Jesus is all that we need in life, but we must know who this Jesus is that we trust. If we view him as a therapist, then the focus is still on our needs, our pains, and the wounded self. We turn Jesus into someone else that he is not. In this perspective, Jesus exists to heal my pain, to fill our emptiness. Jesus is more of a servant than our Lord and Master.
Lane and Tripp remind us:
Jesus is not a vending machine that dispenses what we want to feel good about ourselves. He is the Holy One who comes to cleanse us, fill us, and change us. He does not do this according to our agendas. He will not serve our wayward needs. He loves us too much to merely make us happy. He comes to make us holy (ibid., p. 25).