I think at one time or another you encounter a person in your life who was not able to overcome his painful past. He blames everybody for his life's failures except himself. The sad thing is that if such a man after so many years will never be able to learn from his past, then he will be stuck with it. It will prove to be an obstacle for him to progress in life.
As Christians, when God accepted us as his children because of what Jesus did on the cross, our past was also included. Whatever mistakes happened in the past, God wants us to forget them and to forgive people who hurt us.
In this article, I want to continue our series of Jacob's life focusing on the cure to hostility. We have seen the power of grace and its diverse forms in his life. We have also seen the role of faithfulness and the blessings of God.
Furthermore, I also shared about a practical decision when your environment has become hostile and suspicious of you. In the case of Jacob, he escaped the situation. And so I think the insights we can learn from such a decision is the wisdom of separating yourself from hostile surroundings.
This time, we will consider another practical aspect of facing hostility. And this has something to do with dealing with your past.
We know that in the case of Jacob, he had been separated from his family for 20 years. That's a very long time. But still in his mind, departing from the place of his father-in-law, he was worrying about something. He was worrying about the mistake he made in the past against his brother, Esau. Let's see what lessons we can learn from Jacob in facing his past.
Giving gifts to a person who hated you in the past may open a way to reconciliation.
We see here what Jacob did. When the messengers reported that Esau had four hundred men with him, Jacob was terrified. He was afraid for his life and the life of his family. And so he divided his people into two groups, so in case Esau attacked the first group, the other could escape and survive. Out of fear, Jacob prayed to the Lord and after praying, he prepared gifts for his brother.
Jacob selected 200 female goats, 20 male goats, 200 ewes, 20 rams, 30 female camels, 40 cows, 10 bulls, 20 female donkeys, and 10 male donkeys as gifts for his brother. Even from a present-day perspective, gifts as huge as this can already be considered as wealth. This is a very impressive gift!
And not only that, Jacob gave instructions to his three servants to speak the same message. This is Jacob's way of talking about reconciliation with his brother. Moses wrote:
So Jacob's gifts went on ahead of him, but he spent the night in the camp (Genesis 32:21).
I think giving gifts to his brother was a wise move on the part of Jacob. However, there was no guarantee that it would work. Or perhaps, that was the custom during those times in settling conflicts.
I think the point that we can learn from this example is about the importance of giving gifts when you want to reconcile with someone. At least, gifts show that you are making an effort, a sacrifice to show that restoration of a relationship with that person is important to you.
When it comes to our relationship with God, it is a biblical truth that no amount of gifts can remove the enmity of God from us. What is surprising is that it is God Himself who gave us the greatest gift, His Son, to reconcile us to Himself. So unlike the Esau-Jacob hostility, in which Jacob the offender is the one giving gifts, in the case of man's relationship with God, it is the offended who is the one giving gifts to bring us back to him. That's a kind of love that is very difficult to understand.
Imagine a situation in which someone committed a great sin against you and instead of feeling sorry for his sins and asking your forgiveness, he is blaming you. What would be your natural response? Anger, isn't it? But to go beyond anger, and instead to understand and forgive that person, and not only that giving him gifts in all sincerity can only be done by someone who experienced the love of God. On our own, it is really difficult to forgive a person who does not have a realization of his offense. But by the grace of God, we can do it. That's how powerful grace is.
Ultimately, it is the encounter with God that prepares you the best to face your hostile past.
Though gifts have their appropriate role in pacifying hostility, I think the most important preparation of all is an encounter with God.
In the case of Jacob, if God did not meet him the night before he met with his brother, I doubt if his gifts would work. I think without an encounter with God, Jacob's meeting with his brother would end up bad. What he was afraid of, the killing of his family, could have possibly happened.
I am thinking that while Jacob was wrestling with the angel of God, perhaps God was also moving in the heart of Esau. God was changing Esau's mind that instead of taking revenge, he should forgive his brother.
In the New Testament, meeting Jesus is the essence of an encounter with God because through his coming here on earth, God himself dwelt among men. The author of Hebrews wrote:
The Son is the radiance of God's glory and the exact representation of his being (1:3).
So in Jesus, we encounter God. In our time, this encounter happens every time we hear the gospel of Jesus.
We also encounter God in other ways such as through prayer, reading the word, and even through trials in life. Someone said that he who kneels before God can stand before men. The important thing is kneeling, the act of praying. A man who kneels before God is afraid of no one. He can stand before anything and anyone. Kneeling before God brings healing to our broken relationships simply because you recognize that the situation is beyond your capabilities, and that's the time for God to work and show his power.
Encounter with God results in personal transformation that brings relational restoration.
We already heard how Jacob's encounter with the angel of God changed his name into Israel. And such change represents also his transformation. And that's why on the day of his meeting with his brother, Jacob was no longer afraid. Before his encounter with God, Jacob's gifts went ahead of him (Genesis 32: 21). But after the encounter, we see Jacob "himself went on ahead and bowed down to the ground seven times as he approached his brother" (Genesis 33:3).
We see here that a person who encountered God will change. Jacob could give gifts to his brother but without personal transformation coming from his encounter with God, the hostility with his brother would have lasted until their death. But because the grace of God changed Jacob, this made the difference in meeting his brother. Jacob said to Esau:
For to see your face is like seeing the face of God, now that you have received me favorably (Genesis 33: 10).
There is reason for us to doubt the confession of a person who claims to walk very close to God, but his character remains unchanged. It is questionable to see a person who always prays but his mind, words, and lifestyle do not change. A man or woman who truly encounters God is changing simply because you cannot keep on meeting God and remain the same.
In the Bible, everyone who meets God experiences personal transformation. We see this change in the case of the patriarchs such as Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. We also see this change in the case of the prophets and all the men of God in the Old Testament times.
In the New Testament, those who encountered Jesus were either changed or made worse. The political and religious leaders of that time such as the Pharisees and scribes were made worse as a result of their encounter with Jesus. They hated Jesus and saw him as a threat to their social status.
On the other hand, there are those whose lives were transformed after meeting Jesus. A publican became a disciple. Magdalene, a prostitute became a faithful follower of Jesus. Sick people became whole. The blind sees, the lame walk, and the demon-possessed were set free, and you can cite many other examples to prove that those who encounter Jesus change.
Conclusion
In reading the story of Jacob, we learned that the hostility between him and his brother ended on the day they met each other. Jacob had to face his past. In meeting his brother, we see how he used gifts to pacify Esau, but the most important preparation that happened to him was his encounter with God which changed him as a man.
Likewise, I believe, though I don't know whether the readers of this article have come to terms with their past or not, the important lesson to learn is that a person who truly encounters God will change, and such personal change will also transform his situation, his relationship, and everything in his life. This is because God's work has already started in him and through him.