"Never forget yourself when trying to lift others" were the words the elderly man told the young growing leader while I passed. I paused and tried to memorize the words. When I was home, I wrote is and pondered on the words. My curiosity was not fully satisfied and I had to make some research about such a quote. The outcome of my research was worth the time invested in it because the lessons were timeless. Let's think through this together.
In our world, generosity, kindness, empathy, and support are often celebrated, and it is easy to get lost in the noble cause of helping others. We often hear phrases like “be a blessing to others” or “lift those around you.” These are admirable goals, however, we must not overlook a key element which is the importance of taking care of ourselves in the process. It is essential to remember that in trying to lift others, we must not forget ourselves.
The act of helping others can be deeply fulfilling and can take forms such as emotional support, physical assistance, or simply being present in their lives. Helping others allow us to connect with people, share in their burdens, and spread love. However, there is a delicate balance that needs to be struck in-between. We could forget ourselves if we are not intentional!
When you neglect yourself while helping others, you risk depleting your physical, mental, and emotional energy. Think of a caregiver who never rests, or a friend who is always available for others but never takes time for personal reflection or joy. The result is burnout, fatigue, and even resentment. Ultimately, it leaves you with less to give over time.
Self-Care Isn’t Selfish
many think that "self-care" is being selfish. This is one big misconceptions that is sold. This belief often leads to guilt when individuals try to set boundaries or prioritize their needs. But the truth is, self-care is essential for sustaining the strength to help others. You cannot pour from an empty cup, as the saying goes.
As one, who is sold out to helping others, taking time to recharge mentally and physically helps you maintain a healthy balance. This can be achieved through quality moments of prayer, meditation, exercise, hobby, spa sessions, etc. These moments of self-care are crucial. They help you stay grounded and keep your energy levels up so you can continue to lift those around you without compromising your well-being.
it is worthy to note that constantly putting others before yourself comes with risks. It may seem virtuous in the short term, but the long-term consequences can be damaging. Constantly giving without taking breaks can lead to emotional and physical exhaustion, which affects your ability to be present for others. Over time, you may feel taken for granted or unappreciated, which can breed feelings of resentment towards those you initially intended to help.
The scariest part is that when your life becomes solely about meeting the needs of others, you risk losing sight of your own dreams, aspirations, and identity. Also, neglecting your own physical and mental health can lead to stress-related illnesses, fatigue, and poor overall well-being.
Learn to Set Boundaries
There is a way out of this dilemma. Setting healthy boundaries is one of the most effective ways to ensure you don’t forget yourself when trying to lift others. Boundaries are a form of self-respect and protect your time, energy, and mental space. This means "say No when necessary". You don’t have to say yes to every request for help. It’s okay to decline when your plate is already full.
Make personal time a priority, sett aside time each day for activities you enjoy or dedicates a weekend to rest. Ask for help: Just as you are there for others, allow others to be there for you. Asking for support when you need it does not make you weak. If you’re feeling overwhelmed, let those around you know. Clear communication helps manage expectations and prevents burnout.
The call to self-care is important to ensure you do not neglect your own needs, well-being, or aspirations. Without maintaining your own strength, you may not be able to effectively sustain others in the long run. It is about understanding that self-care is not selfish, but essential for longevity in service.
I'm glad to be hearty and back.
