“To let go does not mean to get rid of, to let go means to let be.”
~Jack Kornfield~
Letting go doesn't mean pushing things away and pretending they don’t exist. It means accepting things as they are without trying to control them or letting them control you. Letting go is associated with the past and thus that is where it should remain.
Imagine holding a handful of sand and squeezing it. It will hurt your hands and find a way out, but if you leave your hands open and let it sit there, it won't cause any discomfort
Holding On to Past
Holding on to the past can cause redundancy in living in the present and embracing the future. It limits us and our capacities.
I've had to deal with regrets over mistakes I made and opportunities that passed me by. I thought I was taking time to ease off, but instead, I focused more on them than on the lessons to learn. This led to limiting myself, having low self-esteem, and being scared of the future. I was unwilling to take up challenges and responsibilities and stayed away from them.
The Turning point
My freedom came from realizing how much weight I was carrying. Instead of letting it go and building myself up with the lessons, I realized that because I learned these lessons by experience, the chances of reoccurrence are very low. I could take up more responsibilities and opportunities with confidence that there will be no such occurrence.
The journey
- Acknowledge: Recognize and see the effect it has on you.
- Accept: Accept that it has happened without pushing blame.
- Decide to Let Go: Make a conscious decision to let go.
- Talk to a Trusted Friend: Share your feelings with someone you trust.
- Forgive Yourself: Allow yourself to move on from past mistakes.
- Journal and Meditate: Reflect on the lessons learned.
Be patient with yourself through the process because it is not instant.
Conclusion
After going through this process, you will realize that better opportunities tend to present themselves. You will have confidence because your scars show evidence of overcoming past situations. You will find yourself empowering others not to go through such an experience.
Remember, letting go does not take away the memory or the scars, but whenever they come to mind, they become an inner push to do even better. Rise up and take that step today. The freedom that comes is better experienced than explained!