It seems a bit weird posting a fairly superficial blog whilst there's a war happening, people are suffering and dying to save their homeland ... but i suppose that is life and this is a big world despite it being so small! Maybe it's good also to focus on something else.. i think I've read enough news and i don't believe a word i read anyways.. evey news broadcaster is just spouting their own narrative and i am truly sick and tired of having NO idea what is really going on .. So why not just post something superficial instead!
So 10 days ago i smoked my last cigarette, and that was 7 days after smoking my last joint. If you knew how much i have depended on smoking as a crutch you will know that this is quite a change... or at least in theory it is..
It is weird but.. i barely notice the difference! I mean.. except for not stinking like an ashtray, and having my desk and floor covered in tobacco dust.. oh and the morning cough is gone.. but i mean, i don't really miss it all that much. I do have my moments and they are always when i get upset about something.. then i get that craving and its quite intense, but i just ignore it and move on to something else and then i forget about it. How can something so integral to my life just disappear like that.. its strange.. and it shows me how much all of this is in the head!
I had thought i was going to have to drop coffee, because in my head those two have always gone together, but in the end i was finding it too hard to wake up and meditate without a bit of a kickstart.. SO i have been brewing my morning cuppa and somehow not freaking out and the lack of smoke to go with it.. I suppose by that rationale the need for coffee is also just in my head but it does seem to help and the meditation has been going well.. I think i have meditated every morning now for the full half an hour for some weeks! That is great progress, and maybe its time to increase it to 45 minutes.. I mean, at 7am what else is there to do anyways right!?
Sadly my sore throat has not gotten any better, and so i guess the doctors i had spoken to were, it doesn't make it any worse. I was kind of hoping that it was the smoking that was aggravating it, but i guess NOT! That is a shame as it was one of my main reasons for stopping.. but thankfully i have not made that a reason to start smoking again..
So i did go to see two doctors about this 4 year tonsillitis.. On tuesday i will have a test done to see what kind of bugs are in there, and then i would imagine i will be taking antibiotics.. I don't really like taking them, but at this point ill try anything, and really want to avoid chopping them out.. im sure they are there for a reason! Lets see, i truly hope to get through a day in the not too distant future without that all too familiar damned pain! Grrrrr,..
I have also just booked a flight to Thailand! My favourite place to pamper myself, eat well, and get my body in good shape.. My daily exercise is pretty terrible, and i still haven't found the motivation to push hard and work out.. SO im hoping after a month in thailand and getting lots of massage and good treatments that it will somehow get my in better shape so that i am inspired to get physically strong again. Ive decided to head south to Phuket, so if any of you have any nice tips or cool things to do near there let me know.. Ill also be island hopping so any good destinations near Phuket gratefully received!
So there we go.. same same but different it is.. Smoking has been a huge part of my life for so long, and i guess im slightly perplexed as to where it has gone, why i spent so much time puffing and huffing, and why the heck i feel no different also! Where is that huge energy lift, that feeling amazing part? lol.. maybe im just different, weird,, maybe im a alien and dont respond like most people, lol...