As I grow older, I started realising the difference between emotional intelligence and drawing a line. In the past, I thought to be a good person means that I'd say yes more times than I say no but nowadays, I'm trying to get to a point where it is balanced.
I always felt the need to make everyone feel good around me and even took pride in it. I felt like the fake smiles and being too flexible was good because it means that I can adapt to different situations and people. Life has taught me differently, and one of the biggest lessons is that you can't please everybody.
I feel everyone has a limited number of favours he/she can perform daily and once you overstep the limit, you start seeing cracks. I guess some people are better than others, and it is all about getting to that point where you no longer have to wrestle with your conscience. The point is, you need to do some soul searching; when you do it, you have to be honest to yourself and work within your current limits.
This lesson I've learnt cuts across various aspects of my life and is not only limited to doing favours. In my career, I also learnt a lesson from desperation when I got that marketing job that caused me more pain than happiness, as well as a few latter experiences. These experiences taught me that trying is important but the ability to look at a situation and go "nope, this is not for me", is equally as important.
The point is, as an individual I try to say yes as much as I can but I try to ensure the lines between emotional decisions and rational ones are as opaque as possible. I'm quite comfortable with fighting losing battle if I'm trying to prove a point or suits a narrative I'm comfortable with but at the same time, I want to be able to see that situation and be able to say "nope, I don't think this one is for me" at the same time.
