So when my daughter was conceived, a lot of thoughts ran through my mind. I had several options to choose from so as to avoid the shame that'll be spat to my face.
Then, a very good (female) friend of mine called and told me she has been bothered for days about me and while she prayed, she was instructed to tell me to abort whatever plan(s) I had in mind and danced to the music life will play before me.
Mum was the first family member I broke the news to because I was close to her. Next things up, I told my pastor in Ikot Ekpene about the news . He smiled, congratulated me and appreciated me for taking the bold step to keep it and also inform him.
Now, a lot of persons in church perceived me to be super righteous (I don't know why they think that way) and were waiting for the day my bad news will spread. It eventually did and tongues began to wag.
I had a female friend then in church who secretly had a crush on me, when she heard the news, she called me immediately and blasted hell into my ears. I kept calm knowing more will come.
I moved to Uyo and told the pastor there about the news too and relayed the plans I had. He accepted it in good faith.
My wilderness experience began. I heard series of talks, I saw eyes that bulged whenever I passed, I could hear their careless words as it fell to the floor.
I was given another image, not that of Christ but of one who was more condemned than the devil. I saw church folks whose secret lifestyle I knew of that was worse than worse judge me. At some point, I couldn't help but laugh.
I saw the church more as an altar of condemnation rather than an altar of reconciliation. I carried an heavy heart each time I returned from church.
To be honest, church activities became more like completing house chores so our Father who art in heaven won't get mad at me.
I got judged...I got condemned...Stones of rejection were hurled at me...Their facial expression feigned love & care but their attitude showed it later.
I struggled to rise again...I felt God was lost in the church so I decided to search Him out on the streets.
Life became empty even as close friends departed...I became my own light in the midst of my darkness.
I kept going to church but my spirit was nowhere to be found.
PS: One of the ladies who constantly mocked me later got pregnant & left the church.
Be careful who you judge...Your ways are also naked before God!
The story continues...
#DiaryOfAFather