When someone talks about PTSD. Your first thought is oh they've seen some shit, but not knowing of what and how they got PTSD. When I first heard and learned about PTSD my first thought that came to mind was trauma and what I read about when someone has PTSD has night terrors, waking up in the middle of the night, physically walking or talking. Like I thought it was just that. Just like a never ending nightmare someone can never escape. That was then till I met my significant other.
When we first met and started dating, I had no idea or at least half of what I was getting myself into. He told me prior that he was a military veteran...so you would think I'd have a understanding that ok yes he has PTSD, I know what to do. I was mistaken. As the weeks and months go by and the more comfortable he become with me and our relationship I started to see more of his "moments". Now these "moments" range and differ with people depending on how bad the trauma is.
Its kind of like living with two people, but its one person. Now before anyone comes at me saying I don't know what I'm talking about with PTSD...well you're right I don't. I don't think anyone really does. But this is just me talking about my personal experience while being with my fiancé.
The more I learned of his past and the trauma he's been through, the more I learned of what PTSD is. I see PTSD as a demonic nightmare you can never escape from. The constant flash backs and remembering of the pain just flooding and drowning you till you're waking up in a cold sweat gasping for air and scared to fall back asleep again to just end up in front of the chaos you just want to escape from. I'm a very compassionate being. I hate seeing someone in pain and not having control to help. But I've realized I've been helping him more than I realize that I am. Just being there for him and letting him talk it out with me and just being there for moral support helps him alot. Trust me there are fights and misunderstandings at times. We do have disagreements like any other couple but we always get through it together.
I'm so proud of him of how far he has come and what he's gone through by himself and now he has me to get through it so he won't have to do it alone. I was so ecstatic the day he asked me to marry him :D that was the highlight of our relationship. I wouldn't change a thing about him. I mean he is a knuckle head at times but I don't love him any less. I've done alot more and achieved more for myself since we've been together and I'm thankful for him coming into my life and vice versa.
I want to thank anyone who takes the time to read this and I thank all the military and veterans for everything they have done for our country. They deserve a lot more than what they do and or are appreciated for. <3