I Just Want To Sleep All The Time Because I Can't Do Anything Physical

There is nothing for me to do much around since I am just handicapped, handicapped in a sense that I lack the ability to do much any physical things that will at least make me feel useful,

All that I could do really is to exist and be a drag to my parents, and of course blog, blog, blog. Even watching movies doesn't entertain me anymore unlike in my younger years where every movie is a spectacle and exciting to watch.

Now I feel that every music out there I listened to them all already and all other music (or videos) are no longer catching my interest. So it is also hard to grow up and get filled with experiences where at some point you no longer get to be under the spell anymore because you tasted them already with regards to entertaining myself as one angle.

So I just wanted to pass the time already like to sleep most of my time where I feel that it is better to just waste my time sleeping then spending it with things that I am fed-up with because I can't do anything physical anymore as well.

If only there had been no changes made in my body then being a dialysis patient would have been still okay. But what makes things hard are the complications that are now limiting my ability to do things even to enjoy simple and negligible things such as eating, walking around, and not feeling the pain.

So I would just like to sleep in order for me to temporarily escape from the reality and dream of things that sometimes would make me smile where in such dreams I am walking, running, and speaking with someone. Now I can only do those things in my dream but now my life had changed for the worst which I am fervently trying to improve even though it is a far-fetched and a crazy idea to even dream about it. I just hope that God would turn my life around for me to feel; a sense of normality even for a short amount of time.