Yesterday my dialysis went on smoothly, in-fact my blood pressure went up to 150 systolic at the second hour (dialysis session lasts for 4 hours) then it went down to the Eastern standard of normal 120 Systolic and down again to 100/80 after my session.
Normally they would not let other patients go with that blood pressure but for me they are letting me out already because I usually arrive with a "normal" BP in the ranges of 120-130 because I am not filled-up to the brim with extra fluids unlike in the past years which is why now my heart is relatively more relaxed and has a normal size as seen on my past CT-Scan and chest X-rays.
Anyway there is nothing to do but to write my world in this platform like I was doing since June 2017th. I can't remember a day that I did skipped writing other than when I was in the hospital and the day before that because of my burst Appendix.
My appendectomy went on so fast that I was unable to think that I should have let go and not seek surgery anymore so that I can die already for the obvious reason that I want to end my life already.
Image by Gerd Altmann from Pixabay
But since I have some funds that I can dispose at that time and wanting the pain to end I just thought to go to the hospital to have my appendix checked and later removed. A few days later it got removed, the pain gone, and I got stripped with some of my saved funds.
So now my hardships continues and I really do not know what to do at this point but let God direct my life into what he wanted. Well I guess that God is with me because of the time I had been battling my condition because I had been a dialysis patient for about 19 years now in December God-willing.
But I thought that my hardships didn't end in being a dialysis patient until my bones and joints had weakened and subjected me in a series of pain and disability and deformities of my face and stature which I wasn't aware what was happening until I saw myself in the mirror (I do not look at the mirror much) and got shocked at appearance of the creature looking back at me.
That is why kids back then looks at me and then laughs with themselves, I had no clue why until I got bed-ridden for about a week because of the sharp pain at my back. Then my appearance (face in particular) exponentially changed.
My face grew big so much so that the strings of my face mask already is hurting my ears as they are pulled to their capacity until I got into my Cinacalcet therapy that reduced my face size a bit and I regained my ability to converse and drink while sitting-up again and of course slashed some of my body's lingering pain even though my ability to walk alone is now so much difficult to do because of my feet's joint pain due to my hyperparathyroidism.