So, I think perhaps in the course of the past few days, that I've finally maybe started dealing with some of this massive mass of issues, and I think I'm feeling better? There's still alot of stuff still going on (mainly in my head), and a number of things still so overwhelmingly in the air (mainly in my head), but I am starting to feel like those things are being dealt with in some capacity (in my head)--even if it's just acknowledging that I have the thoughts and the feelings (in my head).
baby steps, right?
This is a mix I performed on IG back at the beginning of February, and upon revisiting it to share it here on Hive, it occurred to me that I'm not sure I've played this one since then--and that's unfortunate, because I like this mix.
I started working on this one originally as a cover or maybe a remix (hadn't decided) of "Big Me" by Foo Fighters, and I think if you know what you're listening for, you can definitely tell this during the first 5-minute section of the track.
It goes from that segment into some really chill piano and guitar riffing over tasty trap hats and dark synths hanging out in the background.
THEN--it heads to the sax.
I was in band in high school (with 
(I also feel this way about choral music, only because I'm totally jealous of people who are really amazing trained singers.)
From there the song builds into more of industrial section and a section of breaks that have a dubstep feel to them, but without the harsh sidechaining to keep them chilllllllllllllllll. I love sidechaining some biz, but I think it helps to keep the mix chill on these when I forgo it sometimes. Better for studying or zoning and still allows the breaks to have a section to hang out and make things funky.
I got a little lost in this break. It might be too long, but I like it.
From there it heads into an airy-synth-led section with the darker synths being complimented with the introduction of a few bells/mallets.
The final segment is an amalgam of the previous segments, reintroducing the horn hooks and the synths from the earlier segments to tie it all together.
Listen for yourself and let me know what you think. :)
I have such a hard time knowing which mixes are worthy of working on more, or which ones I need to just enjoy for a session or two, learn something from the experience, and move on. Because I have this problem of intensely loving something that I make for a few days, or until I learn something else/new, and then start to totally dump on everything I made before that particular point. Honestly ridiculous, I know. I'm working on it.
¯\_(ツ) _/¯
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