Grind hustle repeat

Most of you are familiar with that. I was that too, grinding and hustling but in a different way. As a freelancer, there is almost no distinction between work week vs the actual weekend. It was easy to drag the job to the weekend and makes you forget that life is not all about working. Even as productive as Elon Musk, he still get his Sunday off, at least according to many videos and interviews I watched on him. So that made me re-evaluate my life. Have I been productive enough running my life without clear distinction between work and play days?

My experience this week have taught me that I really had no concept about day & date & time. I learned that I have been dragging my work into the weekend and not having a dedicated day to push all the work aside. That resulting in more unproductive days than productive day. So far, I have wasted about 3 weeks not doing anything meaningful to fix my life. My sleeping was awful, I constantly get haunted by work that seemed endless, I was more anxious than ever before.

The clear distinction is seen when I constantly worried about all the works I have not done and how little productivity I actually get. It didn't give me any sense of accomplishment and further dragged me down into the gutter.

Lack of structure contributes to this. I was fairly structured last year until my life slowly crumbling and falling apart. I neglected most of things I enjoyed, my hobbies, and so many other things in my life that actually makes me happy. The last two days experience, helped me get back into the loop again.

I wrote earlier that I wanted to be offline for 48 hours. Was it easy? it was not. If being online means being cut off from communication with friends and family, then, I was not offline. I was still online. But yes, I did minimize the time checking my twitter. Now, I don't miss twitter as much as I used to. How did I entertain myself then? I watched old movies, I read a book, watched documentaries and sewing some of my torn-out clothes. I tried not to touch any work related or think about it.

That was not easy. I got anxiety and scare when I didn't touch my laptop and doing little work that I called as "productive". But I succeed not touching any of it. I was more than pumped up to get into Monday and start working. As result, I went to bed early. Normally, it was difficult for me to sleep around 10 PM but I did. I was able to sleep at 10 PM and woke up early. Personally, I am not one to sleep a lot since it tends making me feel sluggish and lazy.

So, what did I do during my 48 hours no social-media detox?

• I read a book.
  I tried to finish two books but it was not feasible. I ended up not finishing both but close to finish. I am currently reading Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen and one The Secret dream world of a Shopaholic by Sophie Kinsella. Both are quite easy to read and rather amusing. I don't think I will make my work day into reading days because that would make it harder for me to actually concentrate on my actual tasks.

• I watched documentaries
  Lately, I try to get into my old habit, watching documentaries. I was a history buff. Now I am trying to refresh my memory on some historical events. The first documentary I watched was about the knight templar. I dived into their story and very amazed of their focus, discipline and their loyalty which helped them amass wealth. Not to mention, as of today, their wealth disappearance remains a mystery.

• I watched old TV series
  Though I have a small collection of movies and TV series, I have some that I liked such as lucifer, game of thrones and agents of shield. I feel as though, I never get bored watching them all over again. Some shows are just so incredible that it's never boring to watch them all over again. Though, I did once quite hooked on Korean Drama, I feel as though if I can't re-watch them when I finish watching them.

• Lastly, I planned my month.
  These last two days were the end of the month. Unlike many months before, I did not have any plan and just cruising my days. But lately since I also take fancy into enneagram, I learned that my type enjoys structure and organization. I thrive on those and details, which was quite true. I feel at best with structure and organization since this would give me more stability and ready as in what to expect about my days and be prepared.

That was how I spent my weekend. I was also inspired by the idea of Shabbat. It is a jewish tradition which meaning "rest" and can also be translated as "ceasing from work". There are some restrictions during Shabbat which last after Friday's dawn to the next day. The following activities encouraged includes studying, reading, socializing and singing, spending time with loved ones and sleeping.These seems to be peaceful and is making sense to spend Friday night to the next day to rest and do other activities. Though this activities are not new to me, I have been out of it for a while. I suppose, I will see more differences next week in contrast to 3 weeks I spent on limbo.

~ Mac