First of all, I am a proponent to minimal sleep lifestyle. I see no point in sleeping when the world is much more exciting and there are plenty to learn and discover. I'd like to sleep when I die not when I am alive. But how feasible this lifestyle is?
Growing up, I already sleep lesser than the average peers my age. My sleeping disorder started as little as 10 when my mom made me study until 3 AM. The time was spent to memorize books overnight. It's probably why I can read fast. Even after I was free of my mom's rough schedule, I continue to sleep lesser. I hate sleep. It's stem from the idea sleeping is wasting time. As much as I try to erase that idea, I can't let it go. It does not matter how many scientific journals that tells me sleep deprivation leads to inefficiency, health problems and etc, I still hate sleeping.
However,as I grow older and after my memory loss, sleeping feels like a necessity. In fact, I sleep a lot than most people. Add depression into the factor, I sleep roughly 11 to 13 hours a day. Whenever I see someone who tells me they can stay awake until morning, I get jealous. It's a superpower that I lost.
When I tried living mindful and exploring that stoic lifestyle, something is missing. I stayed long enough with this lifestyle until I started craving the life thrills. I tried to find a balance between materialism and living mindfully. But as far as I recall, there's no balance in my life. I like the extremes. I always do.
So about two days ago, I tried living my old lifestyle. I was staying awake for 30 hours. The first 14 hours were normal. I went outside to get some stuff done. As the clock reached 12 AM, I already feel aches around my body. I took NSAID and hoping I could be freed of the pain and eventually fall asleep. But then, I started browsing hive again reading through stuff and lurking around. I saw a resteem from acidyo about Dan's book and I decided to read it. It took me roughly an hour something to finish that 263 pages of book. The topic and concept are familiar therefore easier to read. Then, I wrote a comment leaving a feedback in Dan's post. Then, I found myself browsing through nootropics journals and eventually found myself wandering again on youtube.
It was 7 AM when I told my mom that I want to go the market with her. I walked to the market feeling slightly dizzy and disoriented. I tried to keep myself together. I went to a visit snack shop where I wanted to get something to eat. I don't know if anyone at the market can tell I have been awake for about 22 hours at that point. I started feeling like I am going to faint. This was not the case in my teens, I can still go to class until 3 PM and had 1-2 hours nap during the lunch break. My mom and I spent an hour at the market. As we reached home, I started helping her with cleaning things around the house until she had to leave for work.
As she left, I turn on my laptop again and started to browse more things. I texted one or two person saying that I probably need to sleep. Though some days ago, I was complaining that I sleep too much. After that I ate the snacks I bought and started browsing things to watch. I ended up watching 4 episodes of random K-drama that I don't care about. My head at this point starting to feel like it's gonna burst. I drank a lot of water and started to turn off my phone and put the blinds on. The next day? I was time disoriented.
Even today, I feel like I lost sense of time. I need a great reset. It was really fun though and I would do it again but maybe less than 30 hours.
My wish is that in my lifetime someone can find drug that lets us stay awake for long without any crash. I think some people would benefit from this either for work or recreational purpose.
