Have you taken some communication courses? Or read similar articles?
There must have been, the Himalayas, Get, Thousand Chats, and live broadcasts have jokes or courses about communication everywhere.
There are many in there that teach you how to praise others.
For example, it generally tells you to be sincere when complimenting.
But sincerity is what the benevolent sees.
I once had a female employee who was always complimenting others.
Not to praise others for being handsome, but to praise others for their good looks.
In the beginning, everyone was very helpful, but later found that she said that to everyone, so no matter how sincere she behaved, everyone would feel very hypocritical.
So, truly effective praise leaves no trace.
Extending it, you will find that the master's use of skills is completely hidden in practice.
For example, a sales master will not let you notice that he is using some skills;
A good manager will not let you feel his tricks;
A negotiator will not let you understand his routine.
I also summed up several praise methods from practice for you to understand.
1. FFC method
This is a basic routine of praise for FFC respectively
Feeling: feeling
Fact: Facts
Compare: Compare
That is to say, first describe your subjective feelings, then use facts to show that you are not flattering, and finally, through comparison with other people, highlight the other party's advantages.
The numbers you listed were very impactful and the cases were very detailed, and I learned a lot. (Fact)
If you want me to say, your speech level is not inferior to those masters at all. (compared to Compare)
The method of focusing
You have to focus on a single point to praise others, not generalities.
For example: It's better not to say "You look good today", why? Because it is too empty, what does it mean to have a good complexion, it is a cliché when a discerning person hears it.
So, you have to say: "Your tie is beautiful today!" This shows that you have noticed the changes and details of others.
Of course, it would be better if you could be more specific, such as:
"Your tie is beautiful today, and this royal blue calls you very well!" How? If you are a fellow man, is it a very refreshing rush from a girl to give you this kind of compliment?
Of course, this matter has to have some boundaries, and it cannot be self-defeating.
Our department used to practice praise often, and we have praised people from head to toe, and we can find less and less focus.
One day, a lesbian was wearing a low-waisted skirt, and the girdle of michael leaked out from the edge. At this time, a certain man did not know if he had taken the wrong medicine, and he said:
"Sister, this pink suits you very well!"
That ending is too beautiful to remember...
Three, inversion method
Turn a person's shortcomings into advantages to praise.
This kind of praise method requires a high rank, and the opponent's shortcomings cannot be fatal.
For example, if a man is short in stature, if you insist on talking about it, wouldn't you be stabbing someone with a needle?
But if a person is "black", it is different. You can say "very healthy", or you can say "in European and American countries, everyone tans themselves in this bronze color, which is already a symbol of beauty... "
You might ask me, is black the same as bronzer? My God, who can tell the difference? Praise must be used flexibly in order to have good results.
Fourth, the other way
This method refers to setting off others by complimenting them.
I learned this trick from a master flirting girl.
I asked him why he had such a high success rate in picking up a conversation, and he told me that there were routines, and the most effective one was this "speaking to others".
For example, if he saw a girl with a better figure in a bar, he would go over and ask
"Miss, are you from the Dance Academy?"
The other party will usually reply slightly surprised: "I'm not, what?"
"Oh, well, you are very like a friend of mine. She is from the Dance Academy and has a very good temperament, so I thought you were too."
At this time, many girls would smile, and the two sides began to talk, and they succeeded in breaking the ice.
The essence of "speaking other ways" is that no matter how shameless your praise is, it will not appear too much. Because you are complimenting others, but actually, hehe...
There is also a variation of this method, which is to convey the compliment that others have given you, of course, this compliment can be fictitious.