It was my birthday on the 26th of January, 2022 and yes I clocked 30. The almighty 30 I had always admired and thought of as significant, distant and amazing. For days, I kept thinking and wishing that I had enough money to do something tangible for any group of people to express my joy and show my appreciation for life. Something like giving to orphans and/or widows. I eventually did give to friends and family, but what excited me most and made me fulfilled about my birthday this year was writing this article. I have compiled a list of 30 life-changing lessons that I've learnt and personally experienced in my 30 years on earth. I hope you enjoy reading this.
God over everything, only God never disappoints..be thankful to him
In all my 30 years on earth, my experience and the people I have met, my conclusion is that only God never fails. Only God can do more than we can ever ask or think. Humans no matter how good they are will get tired but God never gets tired of us. This is why i've cultivated an habit of thanksgiving.
Beauty may be vain, all that glitters is not good but beauty is excellent and admirable.
Beauty can open doors for you. Work on your outer beauty as much as on your inner beauty. For instance, no one is attracted to a plain face like a beautiful one. Your appearance is one of the most significant factors for attracting attention and being given an audience. Come to think of it, will you want to listen to a shabbily dressed person or someone dressed in rags stinking? I suppose not.
When you talk too much you lose some virtue
Overtalking can't be normal. That's why I appreciate the scholars who gave it a name…Logorrhea is a condition used to describe when a person talks too much. A person is said to be suffering from Logorrhea when they speak uncontrollably. They are also said to be loquacious.
Have you ever talked so much that you feel empty and angry with yourself afterwards? That's some virtue leaving you. Always avoid it.
Hard-work doesn't kill
Hard Work only makes you stronger. Don't procrastinate, don't be lazy and don't say you can't do something. You can always try to be a better version of yourself daily. Also money and the good things of life won't come to you if you don't work.
Successful multitasking is possible
Multitasking is indeed setting yourself up for burnout and less productivity, but successful multitasking is possible. It is possible to achieve more than one goal or aim per time, depending on how well you plan, prepare and the order in which you work.
Near-death experience are real and are a big deal
Having undergone two major surgeries to have my children, I can testify that near death experiences are real. At some points in my second surgery, I was begging that my life be spared. I could hear myself plead "don't let me die now, don't let me die now". On waking up, I appreciated the gift of life more. No one will have near death experiences and remain the same.
There will always be some situations in your life that you are not proud of.
Well, no one has a clean slate persay. Everyone has an aspect of their lives that they are not proud of or some situations and instances that they're not proud of. If you dwell on them you will not make progress. Let go of the past always and move on smoothly with your life.
20 children cannot play for 20 years
You already know this...this is why many friends lose each other's contact. Where are all your childhood friends today? How many of them are you still in touch with? Humans are like liquid, we flow away from our source in different directions. Sometimes we meet again in the future, sometimes we don't ever meet again.
Sometimes you will feel like leaving everything and walking away. Don't do it, it is never the solution.
Often I've felt like walking away from my challenges or any painful situation, but what holds me back is the thought and reality that running away from my challenges or sad moments won't make them go away or make things better.
Adulthood and parenthood are absolute scam… somebody should have told us the truth while we were younger.
You'll agree with me that it ain't easy being an adult, growing up and becoming responsible for other humans is a challenge on its own. You're expected to pay all your bills and the bills of those dependent on you. Worse still you hardly get any tips from anyone, everyone sees you as old enough to financially stand in your own!
Sometimes you say the things that you should not be caught saying
Have you ever mistakenly "misyarn" such that you begin to blame yourself? Sometimes it may have been a mistake others times we just find it hard to control our emotions then we let it get the better part of us.
Sometimes you need to hide your feelings to save yourself a lot of stress
Not everyone wants to hear the truth. It is not you or something you did. It is just the way life is and the way people are built. So when you feel a certain way about a situation or the next time you want to express your feelings over a problem, you need to weigh in on the case and the circumstances surrounding it. Ask yourself
*Must I show my feelings here?
*Must I be a part of this?
*Will anyone get hurt?
*Will this save someone?
Your responses to these questions will help you decide whether to go ahead or not.
Never say never
I kept learning this repeatedly in my 30 years on earth. Whenever someone does something terrible or offends me,bi say to myself that I will never have any dealings with them. But after a while I end up forgiving and forgetting. This has constantly made me realize that we must never say never. This is also applicable to the many resolutions we make that fall by the wayside. Imagine saying to yourself I will never complain all the days of this year or I will never eat ice cream this month, but you fall into temptation. Think about it.
God gives the best gift
As long as you trust God, his gifts are the best. They are without blemish and they usually announce you positively. However you must carefully guard and guide these gifts.
Maturity and wisdom has nothing to do with age
How many times have I learned this and even seen life experiences? Uncountable times. Age has absolutely nothing to do y doing things the right way or having the wisdom to handle situations.
Prayer works
I'm yet to see that situation that prayer doesn't work for. The only reason it seems prayer doesn't work is that sometimes we don't get answers when we want it.
Never grow weary of doing good
It always pays to do good and do right. At first, it may appear that you're a fool for trying and some people will try to take advantage of your goodness, but in the long run, everyone reaps whatever they sow.
Temptations are real and should never be ignored
Everybody gets tempted. I mean...even our Lord Jesus Christ was tempted by the devil so "who born you?"
Trying to ignore the fact that you're being tempted is a sign that you're about to yield or you're already yielding to that temptation. My conclusion is don't berate yourself for being tempted, instead agree that you're tempted then run away from it. Temptations are usually tending towards negative things. So you need to run.
Eyeservice is everywhere.
I like to classify professional mourners into this category of people. Instead of helping someone or a cause thrive, there are people who will wait for that person or cause to die before throwing their weight everywhere. Mourning in every space so that they'll be noticed as the most hurt.
Givers never lack but don't be forced to give.
If you give by force or grudgingly you won't receive your blessings attached to that giving. Don't ever be forced, coaxed or coerced into giving. It never works. Any giving you've done that way has gone with the winds. However, you give from the depth of your heart and joyfully, it will come back to you in folds. The law of sowing and reaping always works.
Avoid time-wasters even when they come chocolate-coated
The painful thing about time-wasters is that sometimes you know them, but they appear too good to be true such that you don't want to let them go.
Never make a decision when you're angry or when you're in a haste
Decisions made in annoyance or when in haste never ends well. You end up blaming yourself and regretting them. Always resist the urge to speak, respond or act when angry.
It doesn't matter if someone is your brother, who no wan help you no go help you
It's as simple as this, a person who wants to help you will help you. They may not necessarily be your relative.
You only live once, take care of yourself
What will you gain by abandoning yourself? Nothing. No matter your condition or pain, please take care of yourself. If you don't take care of yourself well, no one else will.
You can't force love, neither can you force friendship
Gravitate towards those who genuinely care about you. Doesn't mean you should neglect others but let it not be that you are doing too much to be accepted by someone such that it affects your mental health. Your mental health is ,essential and those who will love/appreciate you will do, regardless of how much you put in...bottom line, you can do everything for people, and they'd still not choose you or appreciate you. It is better you recognize and know this early, so that you don't get drained or weary dragging people who don't want you along.
Never live your life based on the standard of the world
According to works people, after studying and graduating, you have to get married and get a job. Whichever comes first but the society is quick to hammer in marriage. Then after marriage you must start having kids immediately. Anyone short of this already has a challenge and they begin to face unsolicited advice from everywhere. All these things are the world's standards and measures by which humans measure success. They're not entirely correct or perfect
Know what you want in life and what works for you early in life
Knowing these would have saved a lot of people a lot of stress in their lives and prevented wasted resources. Many probably won't be at the current levels they're in life. Those who knew what they wanted from early life live prominent and wealthy today.
Mentorship is pivotal to your success.
use mentors wisely, get mentors for every key aspect of your life. I'm also still at this stage where I need to ascertain who my mentor is.
Endurance is key
Endurance is hard but it usually births excellent results. It's like a woman labouring to birth her child. The experience is never palatable, but at the end of it all, it's all joy. And it's good to remember that he who sows in tears will reap in joy.
Don't Assume
Of all the times that I have assumed in my life I've only been correct twice or thrice. Every other time I have managed to misunderstand the situations or be wrong. Hence my decision to always avoid making assumptions.
Of course I have more lessons than these, but as of this writing, these are the lessons that came to mind. In all, my 30 years on earth has been filled with different unique and interesting experience. I have had a bittersweet run and I'm still in the race. One thing is sure, no two life journeys are similar, everyone has had their fair share of life in their years of existence and of course there's always something or many things to be grateful for. I'm still here, and I'm still grateful.
This article first appeared on my blog as 30 Things I've learnt at 30