Today, October 30 2021 was my papa's supposed to be his 60th birthday. It was sad to remember that he passed away too soon and didn't make it to enter his senior years. He died at the age of 50 and this coming December was his 10th year death anniversary.
Time flies so fast and I can't help to think of many what if's in my life. Though we do not have plenty of happy moments since ourlives before were like a story on drama series on tv, I guess that God has a purpose and a perfect reason for everything. Whether it is good or bad, it is important that we've learned from that bad experience and pursue not to have that kind of life again.
Tonight I decided to light some candle which I made and put his portrait which I also draw last year. As seen on the photo I signed it with my signature and date into it. I missed to draw another version of his photo and to see the progress of my hand after a year.
While the candle starting to crackle, I looked on his portrait and see his eyes just like he used to look at me. I silently talk to his portrait and tell him few updates on me. I told him that finallty I will be having my own bike, I have a cute and naughty cat (sugar) and Chuchu just passed away and left me last year.
I'd also told him that I made this candle for him and thought what if he met my fiance, I think that he will liked him as much as I did. He will treat him like his own son and they will have an endless conversation whenever they have time to chat. All of this words I know was nothing but for me it is my simple way to be able to talked to him.
I also put my diy flowers which I shared here how to do it using egg trays. I knew that he likes my idea and my effort because he is easy to please and a good appreciator. That was one of his attitude that I really misses. He appreciates even the smallest things you did for him. I can't help myself to wipe my tears as I looked back to those days that he was a good father.
To be honest, I didn't expect to missed him and remember the good side of him though the bad side of him was totally a nightmare to remember. He was an alcoholic, he gamble, he doesn't have a job to provide for his family and even when he knew that he was sicked, he continue to drink alcohol. Maybe God heals all the hatredness in me and feed my mind with all of my father's good traits.
As All Soul's day approach, the government won't allowed cemetery to open publicly due to spread of covid. Once my bike was complete, I will definitely go to his grave and visit him after 2 years.
Anyways, thank you for supporting me by voting this post of mine and find time reading my story today. Keep safe and have a good day!
XOXO,
Rachelle