WOMEN always said to herself, "I was beautiful."
In the past, before marriage, he had never imagined he would struggle with a pile of dirty clothes, powder detergents that make skin peel, and loose clotheslines stuck from a mango tree to a guava tree. He never imagined that he would walk on the muddy ground. While carrying a large tub of heavy wet clothes, please forgive me. With oversized flip-flops that sounded fluttering and spewed mud into the back of his calf that had once been so slim.
If you are annoyed, he will drag the sink containing the wet clothes from the bathroom to under the mango tree. No matter the plastic tub will crack or split in two. One time that happened. Dragging the sink until it splits until the laundry that has been rinsed is mixed with the soil. He did not pick up the clothes that turned dirty again, instead of rinsing them on the spot because they were annoyed. Make the clothes covered in dirt.
Aggravation and fatigue that really makes it so. However, in the end he picked it up too. Move it to another tub, then rinse it again thoroughly. That he did while crying. Always crying. His face is gloomy. And the children's hair covered his wet forehead. He wiped it with a scented detergent hand.
Nobody knew the mood, except for a 4-year-old girl who always approached her and asked, but not in a tone of asking, "Are you crying? Are you crying?" Mom, are you crying? "
That woman was beautiful. In the past, before marriage, he had never imagined that he would stand in front of a stove, throwing salted fish into a pan that had been bathed in hot, black-colored oil. The sound of jesss ... The oils splattered against the kitchen wall, floor and negligee. And after finishing cooking, he will clean it. All. The smell of salted fish wafted through the air. Stick on the negligee. In her hair. All over his body.
After that, he will wash the chilli, peel the onions, and chop the sauce on the mortar. He was teasing with repeated movements like a person swaying. How all that work is really boring. Far from the beautiful temperament of a model.
However, her husband must have breakfast in the morning, immediately, before leaving for work. Similarly, the toddler, who is very fond of salted fish, also himself. One time he remembered, in his youth, he had eaten in a hotel with a knife and fork. And amaryllis flowers in a large glass in the middle of the table. He sat cross-legged while talking with his friends who perhaps until this moment are still beautiful, unlike him. He missed eating in a place like that, with dishes like that, and side by side with friends like that. However, he knew, such a thing would never be repeated in his life. Will never.
Everyone knows, the woman was indeed beautiful. In the past, before marriage, he had never imagined he would be faced with a pile of dirty dishes and a greasy, slick skillet in an old, crusty sink. He washed the clear green dish soap into a small bowl with a crimped sponge and washing wire. He squeezed the sponge and the foam expanded. He scrubbed plates and bowls and pans and pots and spoons, slowly. While watching his fingers that had once been so soft. With glossy nails bright red.
Sometimes, when the kitchen utensils were actually mounting, he really wanted to drink the clear green dishwashing soap with the lime flavor. Drink it all. Asserted. Until he collapsed and rolled with foam out of his mouth. And he laughed to himself. Dish soap is not rat poison that can kill a person. Even if he wanted to die, he could hang himself under a mango or guava tree. However, he did not want to die yet. No matter how hard his days are, he doesn't want to die yet. There is a tiny innocent little girl who always needs it.
Every time he looked at himself in the mirror, she often murmured, "I used to be beautiful."
In the past, before marriage, he never dreamed he would suck on the floor while mopping his son's pee marks. The house is not too wide, but the toddler is a normal toddler who likes to wet himself where he likes. He likes to knock out the food he is blocking. Likes to spill milk and such on the floor. He could not stand the dirty floor, which was slippery and greasy, especially not to faint. So, every time his toddler makes a mess on the floor, he will immediately suck, wiping the tiles into clings.
Sometimes he was very annoyed at the toddler, wanted to turn back time, and put the boy back in the stomach. He felt so unlucky to have a baby. However, a few minutes later, he truly regretted having such a cruel thought. In fact, regret like that often makes her cry. While staring at the sleeping face of her toddler, she whispered into the tiny ear, "Forgive mama, son! Forgive mama, son! "
Several times, when he was very tired, and the toddler again throwing tantrums, he really wanted to shout at the toddler right in his face, then slap him or hit his butt or pinch him. However, he knew, such treatments would never make the toddler stop. He is only a toddler, who only knows to eat, cry, and urinate. He did not even know what he was doing. Because, he is only a toddler who does not have reason. Therefore, he has never done such cruel things to his toddler. Because, he was sure, after doing that, he would definitely regret it. Very sorry.
So, if he was very tired, and the toddler kept on throwing tantrums, he would run to the bathroom. Dip his entire head into the water and shout loudly. His hair is wet. The negligee is wet. His breath gasped. And he never cared. As if it really does not matter if the wet negligee will make it cold, then make it sick, then make it die.
"I was indeed beautiful." After bathing in the afternoon with his child, he will stand in front of a mirror. While waiting for her husband to come home from work. He lingered in front of the mirror, searching for traces of beauty that might still remain. But really, he almost never found it. Tight facial skin has relaxed. Exactly the shape of the body that sags like a pear. His sparkling eyes had dimmed. Decorated with thin lines at each corner. The hair that was once thick and shiny and always looked wet was now dull and split, even gray. Where did the beauty of youth go?
One might not believe that in his youth he won a city-level beauty contest. Exactly three times. He was invited to a five-star hotel to mingle with other models from various cities. Going onstage. Shows intelligence and beauty inside and out. Amazed many people. At that time he imagined he would get a handsome and rich husband. A movie star maybe. And someday, if he has to have children, his servants will take care of him and he can stay beautiful from time to time.
However, fate said otherwise. He instead married a mediocre young man. Not handsome, not romantic, not too rich. Thin skinny and thin-faced. Work for an insurance agent and sometimes, when you have time, teach a neighbor's child to recite and count. Sometimes given an envelope, sometimes not.
Sometimes he thinks that his life is like a dream. How could he marry a man he never imagined. She does not know whether she loves her husband. What is clear, he was afraid of losing the man. If that's what is called love, maybe he really loves that guy. Love her very much. And he respects him very much - even though he is often very annoyed with him. Men who live with him everyday, but have almost no time for him and his child. Except for weekends which are sometimes confiscated overtime work and such.
Occasionally he really wanted to sit near the man while telling me, how his days were very heavy and tiring and he really needed a backrest to rest. However, all that he never did. Because, every time he got home from work, the same tired eyes he found in the man's eyes. In her husband's eyes.
Like her husband, she never asked what he had gone out there. He did not know, perhaps, every morning and evening, he had to fight with smoke and the traffic jam, on his worn-out motorbike. Maybe he didn't have time to eat lunch. Surrounded by piling work. Reprimanded by his superiors and so on ...
Seeing the tired eyes of the breadwinner, he did not reach his heart and chose to let the man rest in his way as he rested in his own way. Usually, after dinner, he will chat in the room with his toddler. Until they fall asleep hugging each other. In between the hard and tiring days, the second is the most beautiful and most later. When her husband and child fall asleep.
At this time, he will return to the kitchen, clean and wash the leftovers from dinner. While thinking that his life is not too bad. He was sure there was someone out there who did not have anything, so perhaps he had not even eaten a bite of rice until this late. After the almost endless homeworks were done, he entered the room with a happy face. He enveloped her husband. Correcting the location of the toddler's bed.
Before actually closing his eyes, he often saw himself in the past flying in the ceiling of his room. Sometimes walking gracefully in the air. And there is always a soft voice whispering on the verge of consciousness ... You were once beautiful. You have indeed been beautiful. ***
Stories for husbands, wives.